Saturday 15 December 2012

A few of the rules

The other week I parked my car in an almost empty lot.  I went into the store I was going into and came out 10 minutes later.  In that time, only one more car had parked in the lot...right beside me...and was very close to the line.  I thought to myself, "What the hell is this?  Does this person not know proper parking etiquette?" and it got me thinking about what else we keep in our mind as unwritten rules.  So here's a list of some rules to live by that won't make others fly off into a quiet rage, pulling the heads off of Barbie dolls while humming "Hanuna Matata".

1.  If a parking lot is empty, there's no need to park next to the only other car.

2.  Whether it's a toilet or a urinal, always leave at least one space between you and the next person unless there's no other choice. 

3.  Don't overcrowd the elevator.  This will only lead to someone in the far back of the elevator needing to get off on the very next floor.

4.  It is okay for a full theatre of people to go all "Lord of the Flies" on someone who hasn't shut off their laptop during either the trailers or the movie.

5.  It's not okay to yell at people to keep it down before 10pm.

6.  Don't call after 10pm or before 8am unless it's an emergency or you know they're awake; but you can text anytime.

7.  When on a bus or other mass transit system, do not stand by the door and avoid other peoples space as much as possible.

8.  The person next to you on the bus does not want to have a conversation with you.  This is doubly true if they're wearing headphones.

9.  Wear white after labour day.  Nobody gives a shit about that anymore.

10. If someone has invited you over for a dinner, bring something as a gift.  That's just polite.

11. Always offer to help clean up (dishes, bottles, bodies, whatever).

12. Always tell new parents that their newborn is cute, no matter how cone-headed or ugly that thing actually is.

13. Wait for everyone at the table to get their food before you begin to eat.  Buttering a bun is acceptable though.

14. If you know a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

15. On a road trip, the person in the passenger seat has 2 jobs: Navigation and feeding the driver.

16. Unless you're in prison, there's no reason to fight naked.

17. Do not talk to others in the bathroom unless you're both waiting in line to use that bathroom.

18. If you ask a girl what she wants for x-mas and she says "If you loved me, you'd know what I would want." gets either a Playstation or an X-box.

19. Never fart in the elevator...unless you're at your floor.

20. Never look at another man when using the urinal.

21. Never embarass a guy in front of a girl.

22. If you and some friends get a couple pitchers of beer, pour for yourself last.

23. Don't be a sore loser.

24. Don't be a bad winner.

25. Don't budge in line.  This goes for any kind of line, even if you're in your car.


That's about it for now.  Stay classy and I'll write more in this upcoming year than I did this past year.

Monday 13 February 2012

The Post of 2 Masters

So this post is kind of two posts rolled into one, so forgive the poor transition between the first part and the second.
I mentioned a while ago that some depression came part and parcel with unemployment.  I'm pretty sure I weathered the storm okay.  Christmas came and went and it was fantastic.  I didn't get everyone gifts that I wanted to, but I was still getting back on my feet.  January came around and JR's birthday came up.  I managed to afford a decent gift for him, but it was a couple weeks later when I was in Legends (the greatest comic store in the world, Eisner's be damned), and I bought him a pretty nice book as a small thanks for helping support me last year, that I realized that I finally have gotten my life together, and it feels pretty damn good.  I have a fantastic and beautiful girlfriend that I'm crazy about; who brought me to Christmas dinner with her family, is there for me when I need her most, and who made my birthday a fantastic day (it usually goes mostly uncelebrated [though JN did make a pretty awesome cake for me this year]).  I have a job that pays a decent and liveable wage.  Thanks to Weight Watchers (yeah, I'm on it), I've lost just over 30 lbs.  I've registered and will be doing a 10K this year.  I think some of this good fortune has rubbed off on others too.  RR got a big promotion at his work, and I like to think I helped that a little bit.  All things considered, things are okay...but there have been a few down points.  My ex is still...let's just say that it's the opposite of angelic.  Just after my birthday, my dad has an eye removed because it was still cancerous and the pressure on the eye was twice what it should be...so my dad is now a cyclops (not a pirate...no patch *sadface*).  He's in a lot less pain now, which is good.  The only other sour point is that my friend JH is moving back to New Brunswick; he will be missed.

So I've been working as tech support for a company that (without giving any specific names) provides cable TV, internet, and telephone service.  For the most part, I've been enjoying my job quite a bit, and I'm pretty good at it too.  I do, however, notice trends and common mistakes made by people when they phone in and I wanted to share with you some tips if you feel you need to call into tech support.

Reboot your computer.  It's 2012...if you don't know to start troubleshooting by rebooting your computer, just take your life.

For the love of God, please just learn a little about the things you're using.  Know what your operating system is on your PC.  Know what version of Outlook you're using.  If you don't know...DON'T GUESS!  Just be honest and say you don't know.  I can show you how to figure it out.

Listen closely to the instructions we give you and don't do ANYTHING that we don't tell you to do.  You're calling support because you're not smart enough to solve the problem yourself.  Don't try to act smart and do things on your own because you think it's right.  Most of the time it will result in starting over again, wasting both your time and mine.

Make sure that the person you're calling is responsible for helping with your problem.  If you managed to change your computers language to Mandarin, your ISP cannot help you.  If your cell phone dies, call your cell phone company, not your cable company.

Your tech support guy does not care about your life story.  We're more than happy to help, but I could care less about your stance on emoticons and how "life isn't life without emoticons" (yes, this actually happened).  Just tell us what's wrong in the simplest form (like "My internet is down") and let us ask the questions.

I don't care what you've done before calling...if you've called me to help you and I tell you to do something, just do it.  Don't argue.

If you need to phone tech support to have your e-mail password reset because you were too stupid to remember it, it's not allowed to be "livesmart".

When talking on the phone to someone you don't know, don't be racist.  This happens more than you think it should and it can sometimes be disturbing. 

No electronics work from magic.  They all need electricity.  If your device stops working, look to see if it's plugged in before calling.


If something goes wrong, don't wait a week to phone.  Call right away.  90% of the time it can be fixed over the phone.  9% of the time it can be fixed inside a week.  1% of the time it can be fixed in over a week.

I know you're frustrated, I know you're angry, but whatever the problem is, I didn't do it to you...don't be rude and don't take it out on me.  I'm the guy you called for help.

Don't call up drunk or stoned...it's not funny, and I can't understand half of the crazy shit you're saying.

If we need to send a technician out to your house to fix whatever is wrong with you and you live in a large city, don't expect to get an appointment in a day or two.  There are only so many technicians and someone with no dial tone takes a higher priority than someone who is going to miss their favorite repeat of Sailor Moon.

If you have a router and you can't connect to the internet, bypass the router.  Over 95% of my calls where people "have no internet" are solved by bypassing their broke ass routers.

Being old is no excuse for not knowing how to operate technology you own.  Neither is being a girl.  I get that excuse waaaay more than I should.

Telling the tech support guy "well it was just working earlier" is easily in the top 10 of dumb things we hear.  We know it was working earlier.  The fact that it stopped working is why you called in.  Things work until they stop working; that's how we know they're broken.

If I tell you to remove a cable, please don't ask me if it's "the white one" or "the blue one".  I'm not there; I can't see it. 

This kinds goes with the last point, but please know how you have your equipment hooked up, or if you don't know how it's hooked up, at least be familiar with the different kinds of connections.  I understand some of you may be unfamiliar with the different types of connections so I'm going to provide a handy guide.


 This is COAXIAL cable.  This is how call cable based services enter your house.  It's a simple and reliable cable, but capable of transmitting and receiving data as well as audio and video.  This cable is most likely hooked up from the outlet in the wall to your cablebox.  If you're using this to connect to your TV...well you're a little old fashioned.

This is COMPOSITE cable.  It's a touch higher quality than coaxial.  It provides video (through the yellow) and stereo sound (through the red and white).  These are very common cables.



Both of these are COMPONENT cables.  While a true component cable has only 3 connectors (as in the lower picture) that transmit only video (including HD video up to 720p), You may see a variation where they stick a white and red stereo audio conector onto it as welll (as depicted in the upper picture).  Whatever you do, make sure you hook these up correcly, otherwise things get messy.

This funny looking connector is on an OPTICAL cable.  It uses light and fiber optics to transmit sound from a cablebox or blu-ray player to a receiver.  This cable is capable of sending only voice, NOT VIDEO.

Now we've come to the most recent of them all, HDMI.  It stands for High Definition Multimedia Interface.  It's the current market standard for high quality picture and sound transmission.

This is ETHERNET cable.  Also called Network cable and by the more tech minded among us, RJ45.   This is what gets the internet from your modem to your devices.  You can see here why telling us what colour your cable is is super unimportant.

That's all I got for tonight.

[for JN: So today I got up, threw on my robe and was kinda flip flopping between playing games and watching shows.  Then just after lunch, I finally had a shower, got dressed, made supper for later, and went off to work.  I stopped by to see CvO at work first, and to ask her a favour.  I spent the rest of my day at work.  When I got home, I took off my pants, watched a show, made this blog, and now I'm about to crash into bed.]


Friday 6 January 2012

Big Surprise...I'm a geek.

In case you haven't been able to tell, I'm a geek (and when I talk about geeks in this post, I'm also including nerds).  I like Star Trek and Star Wars, playing video games, board games and miniatures games, superheroes and comic books...hell, I even work as Tech Support.  My favorite shows and movies are almost always sci-fi and fantasy.  I wear thick framed glasses and I wear t-shirt that bear symbols and icons only other geeks will know.  For this, I, and people like me, have been misrepresented by the media for cheap laughs and (at least when I was younger) ostracized from social groups.  When I was in my early teens, liking Star Trek was akin to being a homosexual in terms of how others would treat you.  I remember keeping my love of the show a tightly kept secret, until I found other, like-minded people and became much more comfortable with myself as a person...but I digress.  This post is not about thatt.  This post is to try to make people realize how terribly wrong the image of the geek is in popular culture.  I've been watching tv shows and movies carefully over the last month to see exactly how we're portrayed and I've broken it down into its base components:
Highly intelligent but socially awkward/introverted
Physically Weak
inability to communicate with the opposite sex
lack of sexual experience
lives in parents basement
allows video games to dominate life
plays fantasy role playing (may or may not dress up for it)
read comic books
goes to conventions (may dress up for that as well)
dresses awkwardly
oddball or offbeat behaviour
Frequently in smart jobs like scientists or computer tech
Very thin or egregiously overweight
Needy

Take a few of these and make it a character and you can probably find them as a lead cast member on Big Bang Theory.  This is not how we are.  Sure, there are people who do fit into these stereotypes, but that's not what defines them, or geeks in general.  Lets look at that list and see how much of it applies to me and how it affects my life.
Highly Intelligent but socially awkward/introverted - well I'm pretty smart, but I'm not a rocket scientist.  I'm definitely not socially awkward or introverted.  This doesn't affect me at all.
Physically Weak - Again not me, nor does this affect me.
Inability to communicate with the opposite sex - I think my lovely girlfriend would disagree.
Lack of sexual experience - Nope, not me at all.
Lives in parents basement - My parents don't even have a basement.
Allows video games to dominate life - Definitely not.  Game compusion is a serious problem that I do not suffer from, but I really feel for people who do.  For those of you who think you might be addicted to your game...watch this.
Plays fantasy role playing games - Absolutely.  How has this affected my life?  I see my friends on a regular basis and we all do something we enjoy.
Read comic books - This is definitely me.  I spend a few dollars a week and enjoy the stories and the art.  If I were to just read novels, or comment on movies or artwork, I would be considered cultured and refined.  Why should comics be any different?
Goes to Conventions - Of course!  More on this later.
Dresses awkwardly - I may wear things that would be considered an in-joke among geeks, but that's no less strange than paying hundreds of dollars for clothes with a name brand on them.  In fact, financially, it makes a hell of a lot more sense.
Oddball or offbeat behaviour - Perhaps some could consider my behaviour offbeat or oddball, but that's only because you don't get it.  Imagine someone walking into the middle of a showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show.  To the outsider, it's a collection of mentally insane people doing oddball things; but to the insider, it's just all part of the fun.
Frequently in smart jobs like scientists or computer tech - Well I'll plead guilty to that one.  I do tech support.  How does this affect my life?  I'm in a job I enjoy making enough money to live comfortably.  Damn us geeks and our skills!!
Very thin or egregiously overweight - Yeah, I'm overweight.  Did it come from being a geek?  Of course not.  That would be like saying, "Well she's fat because she watched too much Young and the Restless".  Sounds ridiculous like that doesn't it?
Needy - I don't think of myself as needy, but if I was, it wouldn't be because I like Star Wars or watch Doctor Who.
All the geeks I've met come from all walks of life, are of all shapes and sizes, but they all usually do share one defining trait; acceptance.  Never have I ever heard of a geek excluding someone because of their social standing, age, race, religion, gender, sexuality, physical attributes, profession, or any other ridiculous reason why people segregate themselves.  Now what do we see in the media as a representation of geeks?  We see kids using their smarts to make a woman to have sex with (Weird Science, 1985), uber-stereotypical nerds triumphing over even more stereotypical bully jocks (Revenge of the Nerds, 1984), or more recently a socially awkward and stapler obsessed office worker (Office Space, 1999), a 40 year old virgin (presumably because of his geeky lifestye,  The 40 Year Old Virgin, 2005), a higly stereotyped Trekkie type character (Galaxy Quest, 1999).  Those are as accurate a portrayal of geeks as The Good Wife is of practicing law.  If you want to see an accurate description of 2 geeks having a conversation about a geeky subject...look right here.
This is a conversation between 2 people about Star Wars and it's further implications.  Unlike Big Bang Theory, the topic of conversation isn't the main joke here, and neither is the inherent geekiness of the participants.  All they have is an interesting exchange that ends up being a little poignant.  Now compare that with this.
Do you see the difference?  There's nothing inherently funny about what Sheldon is saying.  So what's the joke here?  The joke is "look at how goofy and silly the geek can be".  Leonard is supposed to be the "grounded" character that we're all supposed to relate to, but when you look at it, he's really just being a dismissive ass to his friend who's trying to have a discussion about something that's on his mind.  I'm not saying that we can't poke fun at ourselves, or we shoudn't make fun of geeky stuff.  But a scene like this exemplifies how it's not a show for geeks, but about geeks; and again, a poor portrayal at best.
Truth be told, the geeks are all around you.  You may even be a closet geek and not even know it.  Do you realize how many movies these days are based on comic books?  I'm sure you're aware of the big names, Superman, Batman, Captain America, Thor, etc.  Maybe you even know The Watchmen (and kudos if you liked the movie).  I bet you didn't know 300 was a comic book.  How about A History Of Violence, Road to Perdition, Men In Black, RED, Wanted, The Surrogates, or V for Vendetta?  These movies all did fairly well at the box office and were all based on comic books, and like movies that are based on novels, the (comic) books are usually better than the movie.
Geeks are all over your movies too...lurking in plain sight.  Take a look at this guy.

 You probably recognize Vin Diesel.  He has played Dungeons and Dragons for the last 20 years.  He even wrote the forward for the 30th anniversary edition.  Even I gotta admit that's pretty geeky.  But wait a minute, he isn't socially awkward.  He's not weak or hyperintelligent.  He doesn't dress strangely and I seriously doubt he has any problems with women.  Do a search on youtube for him talking to Jimmy Kimmel about D&D.  Note how he gets when he's talking about playing.  He's a role model for all kinds of geeks who perhaps lack the confidence to come out and just say what they like, regardless of what others think.  But wait, he's only the first geek on the list.
Chritian Slater...He's a huge Trekkie.  So much so that he had to have a cameo in Star Trek VI.

  
Scott Bakula was such a huge fan of the original Star Trek series, that when a new show came along, he HAD to play the lead role.
Some of you may not recognize Dennis Kucinich.  He's a congressman from Ohio's 10th District and former Presidential candidate.  He plays D&D too, and judging by the picture of him and his wife, he's got no problem with the ladies. (and yes, that picture is him and his wife)

 This woman, Asia Carerra, is a porn star and a geek.  She's a member of Mensa with an IQ of 156 and plays Unreal Tournament like it was going out of style.  I doubt she lives in her parents basement.


Most of you probably remember Dolph Lundgren from his role as Ivan Drago from Rocky.  What you probably don't know is how much of a nerd he is.  He has an IQ of 160, a Masters in Chemical Engineering, awarded the Fullbright Scholarship to MIT, speaks 5 languages, 3rd degree black belt, former Ranger, and Olympic Pentathlon team leader.  Know many scientists that competed in the Olympic Pentathalon and still found time to star in Universal Soldier.

I'm not going to continue berating you with pictures....but here's a few more people and their geekiness.
Jerry Seinfeld: Huge Superman fan.  Had a Superman somewhere in EVERY episode of Seinfeld.
Nicholas Cage: Not to be outdone, Mr. Cage named his sone Kal-El (Superman's birth name)
Kristen Bell: Goes to comic book conventions and is a huge fan of comic book creator Ed Brubaker.

Roasario Dawson:Huge Comic book fan
Christina Applegate: Video gamer.  Owns PS3, Xbox, and Wii.  Loves Guitar Hero.
Robin Williams: Goes to E3 every year.  Such a huge video game fan that he named his daughter Zelda.
As you can see, geeks can really be anyone.  Who would have thought that the thing that links Nicholas Cage and Jerry Seinfeld is Superman?  Or that Dolph Lundgren speaks a language for every finger on one hand?
Now there is one more thing I want to go over and that is the topic of conventions.  I don't know why this is so hard for people to grasp, but geeks like going to conventions.  Think of it like multi-day music festivals, but instead of music, it's geek stuff.  It's a chance to submerse oneself into the things that they love, and maybe meet some of the people responsible for its production.  I went to the Emeral City Comicon last year and I had the time of my life.  I got to meet tons of people who have laboured and created works that I have so deeply enjoyed.  It was such a great experience that I'm definitely doing it again this year. You're welcome to join me if you can let loose your inner geek.

Friday 14 October 2011

Idle Minds Thinking Crazy Thoughts

It's late and I'm sitting here with a blank page in front of me and I'm trying to think about what to write.  I have RR's voice in the front of my head saying, "You can't just set out to write something, you have to let it come naturally."  I can't remember if he said that (or something similar) or if it was someone else, but it's my mind, so it's RR's voice, and my mom's voice in the back of my head from who knows how many years ago saying, "Write about what you know."  Well forget that.  I'll just write about whatever comes to mind...there will be a few things.

I'm good with computers and technology in general.  I can pick up a device and figure out how to use it very quickly.  The only bad thing is that I have become free tech support for everyone I know.  For the most part, I don't mind.  My friend CC asked me to build him a desktop computer with a reasonable amount of money.  It'll be fun and I don't mind that.  JN asked me to see why her PS3 won't talk with media on her computer.  I didn't mind that either.  (I couldn't figure it out...I'm having the same problem too)  My mom asked me to make her a DVD of music videos.  She provided the list, I'm making the DVD.  I kind of owe her since back in the 80's, she made a carefully edited VHS tape of music videos that I taped over with a Gilligan's Island marathon.  These people are very close friends or family and I never mind helping them out.  What I don't like is being asked by passing acquaintances, people I barely know, or just random people online, if I can help them with their computer problems.  I usually feign ignorance for their problems, but in all honesty, I'm thinking, "Yes, I could help you out, but I don't want to, and you should go away."

I wasn't overly concerned about it until recently, but now I'm kind of thinking that I'll end up with cancer.  My paternal grandmother had it and so does my dad and all his siblings.  This sounds like it runs in the family.  Over the last 5 years or so, I had wholly different reasons (which I won't get into right now) for supporting cancer research.  Now I think supporting cancer research could benefit me directly, which scares the hell out of me.  It's definitely in the top 5 of my current fears.

I've called this blog Confessions of a Bachelor, but I really haven't made too many confessions...so let's get a few out in the open and off my chest...not all these will be about relationship stuff.
Until a few years ago, I had the worst break ups ever.  Well it's not so much that the break ups were bad, it was more my execution of them that was bad.  I've broken up with women by leaving a note on her dooor, texting, e-mail, phone call...rarely did it happen in person.  On the flip side of that, I've been dumped by most of those methods as well, so I know what it's like on the other end.
If someone farted in the elevator...it was me.
I smoked cigarettes for a little while.  I also have smoked cigars, and pot.  I still have the occasional cigar.  The person that will be surprised by this the most will be my mom....that should be enough confessions for one blog.

I speak confidently.  In fact, I speak so confidently that even when I'm wrong, and people know I'm wrong, they frequently doubt themselves and think that I'm right.  I think I learned this mostly from my mom, and I'm pretty sure this is how she fooled me into thinking that she knows everything when I was a kid.  I use the same technique on my own kid now.  This isn't the only thing I picked up from my mom about parenting.  I've more than once heard her words coming out of my mouth.  First it was scary...now it's just funny.

Thursday 6 October 2011

Zoom Zoom Zoom Part 2

Now your trip can have one destination, or a few.  On my trip down to LA (it's a small town in Southern California), RR and I made San Francisco a major stop on the way.  On the first trip through Alberta, Edmonton and Calgary were both major stops as well.  The important part is to make sure you know what to do when you get there.  Which brings us to Step 7 and Rule 7.

Step 7 - Have fun in your destination.
Rule 7 - You're a tourist, and tourist attractions are fun (for the most part)

It's probably a good idea to have something in mind when you go, a few goals to achieve.  On this last trip, one of my goals was to hit the Water park at West Edmonton Mall.  It's a major tourist attraction at a major tourist destination...it was easily achieved.  One of RR's goals was to eat at a Red Lobster...again, easily achieved.  But sometimes things aren't always known beforehand.  Sometimes you stumble on things, which bring me to the next rule.

Rule 8 - Seize an opportunity.

Nothing exemplifies this more than my trip to London.  We were heading to the Churchill museum and Cabinet War Rooms (highly recommended if you go to London), just down the street from the Parliament Building.  On the way was Westminster Abbey.  It's pretty impressive from the outside, but (despite the insistence from my mother) I was not planning on going inside.  There was a giant line to get it (the British do know how to queue), and I figured, "meh...it's just a church."  But on the Abbey grounds is St. Margaret’s Chapel, which was open and had no line.  It was significantly impressive to make me say, "Screw it...I'll wait in the line, but I have to see the full Abbey."  Fortunately the super long line was for credit card and debit.  The cash line had about 10 people in it and we all made it in very quickly; and boy am I glad we did.  It was VERY impressive, and a good example of how seizing the opportunity worked out in our favour.

Step 8 - Start the return trip home

Yes, now the vacation is winding down and it's time to start heading home.  If you haven't planned it out already, the return route may be open for some debate.  With places like LA or Portland, there's less choices for a route back than someplace like Edmonton or Calgary.  On this latest trip, RR was thinking about taking an alternate route back.  As a good road trip companion, I followed Rule 9.

Rule 9 - Sometimes you have to sit back and let the other guy have carte blanche with everything.

I told him that he could pick whatever route he wanted and I would drive it, stopping wherever he chose for the night.  He ended up scrapping the idea and we just went back the route we went out on.  Oddly enough, on every road trip RR and I have been on, the trip back is always faster than the trip out.  Neither of us could tell you why.  It's not even that I drive faster (on average I'm always 10 km/h over the limit), nor does it just seem faster...it actually is faster.  On the way back from Barriere, we even stopped for lunch an hour outside Vancouver, and we still arrived back earlier than I thought we would.

Step 9 - Arrive home

Now your trip is over.  You're back home.  Congratulations on successfully completing a road trip.  There are a handful of other rules which didn't fit into the narrative, so here we go.

Rule 10 - If you're travelling to Edmonton from Vancouver, bring your own food or prepare to eat a lot of A&W.
Rule 11 - If there's something you really don't want to do, let the other guy have his fun while you wait and/or do something else.
Rule 12 - Make sure you get windshield wiper fluid with bug dissolving agents in it.
Rule 13 - There's only a couple of you...you know who "dealt it", so just admit it.
Rule 14 - Use cruise control...a lot.
Rule 15 - Don't let music be your only entertainment.  Discussion and trivia can stimulating for the mind and helps keep you awake on boring highways.
Rule 16 - When you get gas, use the bathroom, regardless on whether or not you need to.
Rule 17 - Bring bottles of water, because some rest stops don't have sinks.
Rule 18 - Always steal the hotel soap
Rule 19 - If you road trip with someone who snores, bring earplugs.

There might be more rules later....If there are, I'll make a special post about them.

Tuesday 4 October 2011

Zoom Zoom Zoom Part 1

Over the last 12 years, I've been on a good handul of road trips.  All of them (except 1) have been with RR.  We've been to Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Edmonton, Calgary, and a few other smaller places.  We've seen dust devils and a California wildfire.  We've driven through wind, rain, sleet, snow, fog, heat, lightning, and gloom of night...except for that one time just outside Canmore where it was getting dark and the rain was so bad that we had to stop (video explaination available here @ the 2:20 mark).  We have road tripping down to a science, but we hadn't been on a solid road trip in years, so when RR had some vacation time and took his birthday week off, we went on a road trip.  I guess this post is almost a guide on how to have a good road trip.  I'll break it up into steps and rules.
First things first, you have to be in the right mindset.  With everything on a road trip, you have to keep an open mind.  Secondly, never reject any idea out of hand; always use careful consideration.  Let's make that the first 2 rules.

Rule 1 and 2: Don't be a dick.

With this in mind, we come to the first big hurdle...where to go.  I suggested Seattle.  It's not too far, it's familiar ground, but on the downside, it's been done...almost to death, so already I wasn't married to the idea.  RR (after careful consideration) rejected the idea, as this may interfere with my EI, but then suggested Edmonton.  Seeing no downside, I agreed, and the destination was established.  Now it was time to plan the route.  Let's start numbering these things.

Step 1 - Choose Destination
Step 2 - Plan your route

This one was simple.  We take Hwy #1 until we can get on Hwy #5, then take Hwy #16 into Edmonton.  It's the most direct route and the whole thing would have taken about 12 hours if we had driven it straight.  RR suggested we throw in a stop on the way.  Keeping an open mind, I agreed and let him work his magic.  He picked a chain hotel in a small town called Barriere, just North of Kamloops.  It would take us about 5 hours to get there, which breaks up the trip nicely.  One thing to note, only the drivers get to have final say about the route and how long they're willing to drive on it, but don't be a dick about it.

Step 3 - Plan your stops (including accomodations)

From there, my first concern was in car entertainment, particularly the music.  Which leads up into the next step:

Step 4 - Bring enough music

Now there's many ways of solving this problem.  You could just say "It's all Rush, all the time", but that seems a little uneve.  Early on, we burned CD's, then later MP3 CD's of our favorite music.  This had some limited success.  We found that whenever an MP3 CD was played on random, songs by Collective Soul would frequently pop up.  It became somewhat of a scourge and we've limited the number of Collective Soul songs on road trips ever since.  My car can now read a USB sitck, so I just asked RR to give me 5GB of music.  I meelded with my 5GB, tossed it in and set it to random.  This was met with great success.

Rule 3 - Make sure the distribution of music is fair and balanced

Now I know what you're thinking, "What if there's crap that he puts on that I don't like?"  This is why we came up with a 'veto' rule.  RR and I allow one song to be vetoed every 1/2 hour by each of us.  Follow Rule #1 and #2 and there won't be too much of a problem.  RR and I have somewhat different tastes in music.  He likes what he likes, I like what I like, and there's a whole handful of stuff that we both like.  Usually on a road trip, I'm exposed to music I've never heard and end up enjoying quite a bit.  I'm sure it's the same way on his side too.  Which brings us to step 5 and rule 4.

Step 5 - Pack your bags
Rule 4 - Don't over pack your bags

Do I really need to mention much more about that?  If you're going for a 4 day trip, don't pack like you're going on a jungle safari for 3 months.  Remember to pack some snacks and make sure that some of those snacks include beef jerkey (the perfect roadtrip treat) and Red Bull (because driving in Alberta gets boring).

Step 6 - Drive (or Navigate)

Now you can finally hit the road.  All the prep is done and the trip can begin.  Getting the trip underway is such a rewarding feeling.  I mentioned in an earlier post about Unemployment Depression; well nothing cures it like getting started on a road trip with your best friend.  Roles have to be established though.  Whoever isn't the driver is the navigator and gets whatever the driver needs, as long as he's not being a dick about it.  It's trade offs like this that keep people from arguments on a fun trip.  Which brings us to Rule 5.

Rule 5 - Whoever pumps the gas, the other guy does the windows.

This simple rule, and RR's mastery of navigation supremely impressed my sister while we were in Edmonton and Calgary.  RR is attuned to what I need to hear as a driver that he can give me excellent directions.  My sister, on the other hand, gives directions so poorly, that I don't know if she knows where she's going half the time.  "Left turn in 200m onto 72nd st.  You'll want to be in the lane to your left." is how RR would give directions.  My sister on the other hand is more like, "Left...left..left.left.LEFT!LEFT!!LEFT!!!".  I was unable to move into the left lane.  So keep the next rule in mind:

Rule 6 - Taking the wrong exit and missing the right exit are equal amounts of fun!

Thursday 8 September 2011

The phone call

I was in Vancouver for the last little while.  I went to have dinner with my mom, and on the way back, I noticed that I had missed a call...with a 902 area code (the area code for Halifax).  There was a voicemail which confirmed my suspicion...it was my dad.  This was the first I had heard from my father in almost 2 years.  It was hard to tell on the message, but I'm pretty sure he had a couple beers down range when he called.  The message went something like this,

"Hey kid, It's Rick...your dad.  I'm calling to say hi and that I'd like to hear your voice.  I have some good news and some not so good news.  Please give me a call back at this number...it's...hold on a f#cking second, it's around here somewhere...well you probably see it on your phone...f#ck...here it is....902-xxx-xxxx.  So give me a call; love you kiddo" *click*

Now my mom, being the insidiously curious type, insists that I tell her what he said in the message.  So I do and then I start the mental process of steeling myself for calling my dad back.  As I previously mentioned in another post, one of my 101 goals was to tell my dad why I don't talk to him anymore.  I called him back.  He was happy to hear from me and very apologetic about the lack of communication over the last couple years.  He was very emotional and when he started to redirect some of the blame, I stayed strong and shut that down, making sure he understood that there was nobody to blame but himself.  Then I said that if he wants a relationship that he MUST phone at least once a month and he MUST be sober for those calls and if he can't commit to that, then I will no longer entertain a relationship with him.  He agreed...then he told me the bad news.  My uncle is on his deathbed with only a couple months to live.  That's horrible news since I really liked my uncle.  He was always good to me, as was his wife and my cousin.  So already in a state of shock and emotional upheaval from learning that, my dad tells me that he's been diagnosed with cancer in his left eye, and it's at the back of the eye...now I really feel like shit.  Luckily it's treatable, but he'll lose the vision in that eye, if not the whole eye altogether.  He starts a 5 day radiation treatment on Monday...my fingers are crossed that he makes it out ok.

After he tells me all that, then he goes into more promises about coming out to visit, etc. etc....rhetoric that he's been spewing for the last 30 years that just never sees fruition and that took me from emotionally distraught right back to pissed off again.  Cancer or no, I let him have it with both barrels.  I told him that I want to NEVER hear another empty promise from him again.  He can say he's coming out when he has a ticket in hand and NO SOONER!  We ended the conversation there with him promising to call on Tuesday after a consult with the Oncologist...and to my surprise, he actually did call.  Maybe my relationship with my dad isn't so bleak after all.  Only time will tell, but I think I may give him one...last...chance.

The next blog post will be funny, I swear!