A couple weeks ago, I was angry at something, or maybe I was sad at something...I can't remember; what I do remember is thinking "I want to watch someone yell at someone", so I watched a show where I could be guaranteed to see that...Hell's Kitchen. Now the show itself is just ok, but I realized something; Most reality television is designed around fullfilling our deep and dark desire for schadenfreude. For those of you who don't know, schadenfreude [shahd-n-froi-duh] is a word of German origin and it means "satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune". We've all felt it, and reality tv is designed for it. Think about one of the first reality shows in the late 80's/early 90's, COPS, and you'll see that it feels very satisfying to watch someone get dragged away, shirtless of course. Criminals can never seem to find a shirt. Now while delving into various pages on the internet while writing this blog, I came to realize that the reality TV that I'm talking about here, is really only a thin portion of reality TV as a whole. Most of our schadenfreude is relegated to competiton/elimination type shows like Survivor, Big Brother, The Bachelorette or Hell's Kitchen. There's a wider range of shows that fall under reality TV that are quality shows. Here's a few that I've enjoyed: Holmes on Homes, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Mythbusters (yeah, that's reality TV), Crocodile Hunter, Monster Garage, and 30 Days, just to name a few. Notice how none of those shows feed into our sense of Schadenfreude, and most of them aren't making new episodes anymore.
Based on all this, I'm ready to make the following decree's; any reality show where contestants are voted off by the other contestants is now dead to me. Any reality show that let's America decide who wins is also dead to me. Any reality show that is centered around finding love is dead to me twice. I have a hard enough time finding a girlfriend, I don't need to watch some other bachelor have his pick of 10 women fawning all over him...that guy can go straight to hell. Any reality show on the Discovery Channel gets my automatic approval. Thanks to the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, I know everything there is to know about Sharks and Hitler. Any reality show that helps people in a jam (Holmes on Homes, Hoarders, etc.) gets my automatic approval....that should just about do it for my decree's today...I may add more later.
Now you may be wondering, "Jon, if you don't like reality TV that much, what TV do you like?" That's an excellent question reader who I assumed asked that question. I watch quite a bit of TV over the run of a year. Well thanks to the advent of the internet, I can watch TV around my schedule. Here's a list of the shows (in no particular order) I'm watching and who else should be watching it. These are all proven shows in their second season or later. No new shows from this past year are part of the list.
True Blood - For those who like Vampires and hate Twilight.
Leverage - For those who enjoy a heist show...think Ocean's 11 on TV.
Entourage - For those who enjoy good acting and celebrity cameo's.
Warehouse 13 - For those who enjoy geeky treasure hunting with a splash of comedy.
Eureka - For science minded folks who love to see inventions go awry.
White Collar - For those who wanted to see more of Catch Me If You Can.
Rookie Blue - For those who liked Grey's Anatomy and wished it was about Toronto Cops.
Burn Notice - For those who like spy action
Real Time with Bill Maher - For those who like political comedy and active debate
Doctor Who - For those who like time travelling adventures
Torchwood - For those who like X-files and wish it were British and edgier.
Secret Diaries of a Call Girl - For those who enjoy good acting and writing on a touchy subject.
Venture Brothers - For those who like the animated and ridiculous.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - For those who like the live action and ridiculous.
Merlin - For those who like Arthurian legend, but don't mind it getting screwed with a little.
Californication - For those who love sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Justified - For Timothy Olyphant fans.
Ricky Gervais Show - For those who love to laugh at someone else's idiocy.
Archer - For everyone who likes animated antics of a disfunctional spy agency.
Chuck - For those who like nerdy spy action.
Castle - For those who enjoy their mystery with a splash of comedy and a whole lot of Nathan Fillion
Big Ban Theory - For those of us that are smarty pants or approaching genius intellect.
The Amazing Race (Reality) - For those who like travel shows combined with racing.
Fringe - For those who know what psuedo-science is.
Community - For those who like experimentation in TV
The Office - For reality fans who like their reality scripted
How I Met Your Mother - For those who want to watch a blog on TV
Supernatural - For those who are fans of horror movies
House - For those who like Sherlock Holmes but in a hospital.
Glee - For those who like musicals they can sing along with. Remember, it's not just for gays anymore.
Game of Thrones - For those who like low fantasy and politics. With 13 emmy nominations, you need to watch this.
Republic of Doyle - For those who like Newfie's and mystery
Mythbusters - For those who like it when things go boom.
That's all I'm going to list for now. Yes there are other shows I watch, and if you want a recommendation, you'll have to send me an e-mail. Otherwise, Happy Viewing!
Saturday 30 July 2011
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Kids and Warren
In my last post, I talked about my relationship with my dad. Being a father myself, that relationship has taught me how not to parent my own child to great success. As of right now, my son is 7 1/2 years old. Here's some rules I've discovered while raising him.
1. Never wake a sleeping child.
2. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD.
3. When your kid is a baby and that baby smashes his head on something (as every baby will do), a little cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
4. When your kid is a baby and that baby is teething, some cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
5. Don't make your kid a drug addict with baby tylenol.
6. Kids see grandparents as one of 2 things, toy dispenser or candy dispenser.
7. Parents see those same people as one of 2 things, a sympathetic ear and free babysitting.
8. The older your child gets, the more you hear your parents words come out of your mouth. Sometimes it's scary, most times it's funny, but probably only to you.
9. The longer you're a parent, the more you appreciate what your own parents went through.
10. Every kid should be taught how to fight and how not to fight. I know this is a hot button topic. Ideally there would be no fighting in school, but it doesn't work like that. The kid that fights the bully is a hero, the kid that tells the teacher is a wuss and a tattletale. I taught my kid to never ever start a fight...but always end it. He hasn't started a fight yet.
11. I give my son freedom to do whatever he wants as long as he says in line...one step out of line and it's punishment time.
12. Never let your child see you smoke or drink.
13. If you're separated/divorced, never argue in front of the child and never say bad things about the other parent.
14. As soon as you can, make your child earn everything.
15. Every kid says no. They're testing your boundaries. Don't give them an inch. It might seem cold hearted, but in the end is far more beneficial for you and them.
16. Don't dress your kid funny. I'm pretty sure my mom did when I was younger, but it was the 80's and everybody was dressed funny.
17. Don't let your kid cut his own hair. I did when I was younger and have the school pictures to prove it.
18. Don't be shy or sparing with affection.
19. Don't be shy or sparing with praise for good work.
20. Enforce reading as a daily activity for at least 1/2 hour per day. It's always the kids who can't read that have a hard time in school.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here. I could write more, but that would make this post waaaay too long.
On another note, RR wanted me to remind everyone that the video for Warren Dean Flandez's new single, "Vinatge Love" is now on youtube. Check it out and tell all your friends...TELL THEM NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHFpNGjBANI
1. Never wake a sleeping child.
2. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD.
3. When your kid is a baby and that baby smashes his head on something (as every baby will do), a little cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
4. When your kid is a baby and that baby is teething, some cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
5. Don't make your kid a drug addict with baby tylenol.
6. Kids see grandparents as one of 2 things, toy dispenser or candy dispenser.
7. Parents see those same people as one of 2 things, a sympathetic ear and free babysitting.
8. The older your child gets, the more you hear your parents words come out of your mouth. Sometimes it's scary, most times it's funny, but probably only to you.
9. The longer you're a parent, the more you appreciate what your own parents went through.
10. Every kid should be taught how to fight and how not to fight. I know this is a hot button topic. Ideally there would be no fighting in school, but it doesn't work like that. The kid that fights the bully is a hero, the kid that tells the teacher is a wuss and a tattletale. I taught my kid to never ever start a fight...but always end it. He hasn't started a fight yet.
11. I give my son freedom to do whatever he wants as long as he says in line...one step out of line and it's punishment time.
12. Never let your child see you smoke or drink.
13. If you're separated/divorced, never argue in front of the child and never say bad things about the other parent.
14. As soon as you can, make your child earn everything.
15. Every kid says no. They're testing your boundaries. Don't give them an inch. It might seem cold hearted, but in the end is far more beneficial for you and them.
16. Don't dress your kid funny. I'm pretty sure my mom did when I was younger, but it was the 80's and everybody was dressed funny.
17. Don't let your kid cut his own hair. I did when I was younger and have the school pictures to prove it.
18. Don't be shy or sparing with affection.
19. Don't be shy or sparing with praise for good work.
20. Enforce reading as a daily activity for at least 1/2 hour per day. It's always the kids who can't read that have a hard time in school.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here. I could write more, but that would make this post waaaay too long.
On another note, RR wanted me to remind everyone that the video for Warren Dean Flandez's new single, "Vinatge Love" is now on youtube. Check it out and tell all your friends...TELL THEM NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHFpNGjBANI
Sunday 24 July 2011
My Dad
So it's 2:24am and I've had a few to drink, so this should be a perfect time to make a blog post.
Earlier in my blog I talked about how I like my step-dad more than my real dad. Some of you may have found this a bit odd, but let me set the record straight about my history with my dad.
My parents split when I was too young to really remember. As part of the divorce agreement, my mother got full custody as long as my dad didn't have to pay child support; a classy move if ever there was one. My mom didn't keep me from my father though; quite the opposite in fact. He used to phone me, albeit infrequently, and I used to go out to Halifax for a while in the summer. I would stay with my dad, who was living with his mom. He would go off to work every day, so I spent a lot of time with my grandmother, a frail, old woman who I still miss. As I grew older, my mother introduced me to some of the reasons she left my dad, primarily alcoholism. I've had the stigma of being "at risk" for alcoholism all my life, and maybe me posting this while a little drunk doen nothing to deter that notion. Luckily, I've never become like my dad in that regard; but I digress. Undeterred, I decided when I was 12 that I wanted to live with my dad. My mom tried to talk me out of it, but in the end my mind was made up and she supported me. The year that I spent in Halifax was...tumultuous. I didn't have my own room for a while. My dad was surprisingly absent most days and nights. He met a woman and they decided to get married. The "moving into a new place" phase took over 2 months. I was living in the old apartment, my dad in the new one. I quickly learned how to fend for myself, and thanks to my mom, I had those skills. Despite this, I still had a great relationship with my dad. At the end of that year, let's just say that I did a few bad things and he ended up shipping me back to my mom in Vancouver. After that, I got some phone calls from my dad, but I didn't see him again until I graduated High School. I saw him again a couple years later when I was doing some training in Halifax for a month.
A few years later, my son was born...my dad never came out to see him. Now him being an alcoholic, I understand that he doesn't have a lot of money; he spends most of it on booze; I was still hurt though. I've been back out to Halifax a few times over the years, and for a while, it seemed that he was getting his s#it together and might actually come out to visit his grandson. My son was 5 years old and had never met his grandfather and it was purely because he made no effort to communicate with either him, or me. Now I'm in a position to think about how much should my son get to know my dad. How much effort should I put into it? I look back at my life and realize that even though there were a handful of good times, I've lived my life mostly disappointed at my own father. Is that the kind of man I want getting to know my son? Do I want his infuence permeating my life or my son's? So far the answer has been no, but he is family. The last time he called it was New Years Eve 2009 and he was piss drunk. I told him that if he wanted to talk, he should call me back tomorrow when he's sober. I haven't heard from him since. It kind of saddens me that my relationship with my dad has gone straight to the s#itter and that my son will never know his grandfather. I do like the fact that my son will never have to live with my dad disappointing him like he disappointed me. All I have to worry about now is not following in my fathers footsteps.
Now that has been kind of negative. My dad did have some good qualities. He was a pretty damn good cook. He had a boisterous and low brow sense of humour. While my mom taught me wit, my father taught me toilet humour. In person, my dad was as generous as he could afford to be.
In the final examination, despite all he's done and hasn't done, I miss my dad. I wish he was a better person. I wish that my son could get to know his grandfather. I wish he could get off the booze. I wish he had a better life.
Now contrast that with my step-dad. He has always dispensed good advice and has always looked out for my best interests and the best interests of my son. He helps out whenever and whereever he can; this also extends to my friends to which he evidenced last week when JR got a hotel room and he used his sway as a Diamond member to ensure they treated him exceptionally well. He has gone out of his way to drive me to and from the ferry; not a priviledge I abuse at all. I consider it a luxury to get a ride. I know he's given my sister more rides than I can even comprehend. He works damn hard, and frequently away from home, but still makes the time to make my mom happy. He enjoys wine in moderation and is always happy to share a bottle with me. He always acts in an upstanding way and sets a good example for anybody to follow. We haven't always agreed, especially early on, but I've grown up and I've come to respect him and his opinion.
It's now 3:08am...I need sleep.
Earlier in my blog I talked about how I like my step-dad more than my real dad. Some of you may have found this a bit odd, but let me set the record straight about my history with my dad.
My parents split when I was too young to really remember. As part of the divorce agreement, my mother got full custody as long as my dad didn't have to pay child support; a classy move if ever there was one. My mom didn't keep me from my father though; quite the opposite in fact. He used to phone me, albeit infrequently, and I used to go out to Halifax for a while in the summer. I would stay with my dad, who was living with his mom. He would go off to work every day, so I spent a lot of time with my grandmother, a frail, old woman who I still miss. As I grew older, my mother introduced me to some of the reasons she left my dad, primarily alcoholism. I've had the stigma of being "at risk" for alcoholism all my life, and maybe me posting this while a little drunk doen nothing to deter that notion. Luckily, I've never become like my dad in that regard; but I digress. Undeterred, I decided when I was 12 that I wanted to live with my dad. My mom tried to talk me out of it, but in the end my mind was made up and she supported me. The year that I spent in Halifax was...tumultuous. I didn't have my own room for a while. My dad was surprisingly absent most days and nights. He met a woman and they decided to get married. The "moving into a new place" phase took over 2 months. I was living in the old apartment, my dad in the new one. I quickly learned how to fend for myself, and thanks to my mom, I had those skills. Despite this, I still had a great relationship with my dad. At the end of that year, let's just say that I did a few bad things and he ended up shipping me back to my mom in Vancouver. After that, I got some phone calls from my dad, but I didn't see him again until I graduated High School. I saw him again a couple years later when I was doing some training in Halifax for a month.
A few years later, my son was born...my dad never came out to see him. Now him being an alcoholic, I understand that he doesn't have a lot of money; he spends most of it on booze; I was still hurt though. I've been back out to Halifax a few times over the years, and for a while, it seemed that he was getting his s#it together and might actually come out to visit his grandson. My son was 5 years old and had never met his grandfather and it was purely because he made no effort to communicate with either him, or me. Now I'm in a position to think about how much should my son get to know my dad. How much effort should I put into it? I look back at my life and realize that even though there were a handful of good times, I've lived my life mostly disappointed at my own father. Is that the kind of man I want getting to know my son? Do I want his infuence permeating my life or my son's? So far the answer has been no, but he is family. The last time he called it was New Years Eve 2009 and he was piss drunk. I told him that if he wanted to talk, he should call me back tomorrow when he's sober. I haven't heard from him since. It kind of saddens me that my relationship with my dad has gone straight to the s#itter and that my son will never know his grandfather. I do like the fact that my son will never have to live with my dad disappointing him like he disappointed me. All I have to worry about now is not following in my fathers footsteps.
Now that has been kind of negative. My dad did have some good qualities. He was a pretty damn good cook. He had a boisterous and low brow sense of humour. While my mom taught me wit, my father taught me toilet humour. In person, my dad was as generous as he could afford to be.
In the final examination, despite all he's done and hasn't done, I miss my dad. I wish he was a better person. I wish that my son could get to know his grandfather. I wish he could get off the booze. I wish he had a better life.
Now contrast that with my step-dad. He has always dispensed good advice and has always looked out for my best interests and the best interests of my son. He helps out whenever and whereever he can; this also extends to my friends to which he evidenced last week when JR got a hotel room and he used his sway as a Diamond member to ensure they treated him exceptionally well. He has gone out of his way to drive me to and from the ferry; not a priviledge I abuse at all. I consider it a luxury to get a ride. I know he's given my sister more rides than I can even comprehend. He works damn hard, and frequently away from home, but still makes the time to make my mom happy. He enjoys wine in moderation and is always happy to share a bottle with me. He always acts in an upstanding way and sets a good example for anybody to follow. We haven't always agreed, especially early on, but I've grown up and I've come to respect him and his opinion.
It's now 3:08am...I need sleep.
Friday 22 July 2011
The Interview
I had a job interview today. It was not my first job interview, and it probably won't be my last. I nailed the interview. When I got home, I called my mom (who had left a message for me to call her back) and I told her that I nailed it. She asked, "How do you know you nailed it?" and I thought about it...how do I know I nailed it. I answered every question clearly with specific examples. They seemed engaged. I asked good questions at the end. I felt good after the interview, but if one doesn't get the job, you might never know if you did well or not. I might have done great, but the next guy might have done even better. They just might not have thought I was pretty enough. They might be hiring internally and just taking a few outside interviews to say, "See, we interviewed outside people." Most of these things people don't have much control over and that can be frustrating. There's nothing worse than the non-specific rejection; things like "We don't think this is a match."...what, am I on the dating game? It's just a job; I'm not trying to get into your pants. Either way, there are some Do's and Do Not's that I have found after interviewing and being interviewed dozens of times.
1. Do dress nicely. Men, wear a suit. Ladies, wear something nice. 90% of the time, I rejected people based on how they presented themselves. You won't believe how many people have showed up in a t-shirt and sweatpants. If you don't have a suit, wear the best you have. The effort is noted.
2. Do Not say that you're going to steal things from them. Yes it happend. No, I didn't hire him.
3. Do Not use racial slurs. Unless you're interviewing for the KKK.
4. Do brush your teeth. Nothing worse than bad breath in an interview.
5. Do Not fart in the interview.
6. Do have a firm handshake, but not one that will crush someone.
7. Do Not curse during the interview.
8. Do make them laugh. It shows you have a good attitude and that's 80% what I look for.
9. Do Not hit on your interviewer. It may sound fun and complimentary, but in actual fact it's creepy as s#it.
10. Do thank them for their time at the end. It shows you're a professional.
11. Do Not let too much dead air linger. If there's an awkward silence after you give an answer, they're probably looking for more.
12. Do ask to clarify any question you don't fully understand. The interviewer is almost never annoyed by this.
13. Do not arrive late and/or unprepared. You should be there 10 min. early with a few copies of your resume and references with you.
14. Do speak with confidence and admit when you don't know something.
I did all the Do`s and none of the Do Not`s today...I think that deserves a reward.
1. Do dress nicely. Men, wear a suit. Ladies, wear something nice. 90% of the time, I rejected people based on how they presented themselves. You won't believe how many people have showed up in a t-shirt and sweatpants. If you don't have a suit, wear the best you have. The effort is noted.
2. Do Not say that you're going to steal things from them. Yes it happend. No, I didn't hire him.
3. Do Not use racial slurs. Unless you're interviewing for the KKK.
4. Do brush your teeth. Nothing worse than bad breath in an interview.
5. Do Not fart in the interview.
6. Do have a firm handshake, but not one that will crush someone.
7. Do Not curse during the interview.
8. Do make them laugh. It shows you have a good attitude and that's 80% what I look for.
9. Do Not hit on your interviewer. It may sound fun and complimentary, but in actual fact it's creepy as s#it.
10. Do thank them for their time at the end. It shows you're a professional.
11. Do Not let too much dead air linger. If there's an awkward silence after you give an answer, they're probably looking for more.
12. Do ask to clarify any question you don't fully understand. The interviewer is almost never annoyed by this.
13. Do not arrive late and/or unprepared. You should be there 10 min. early with a few copies of your resume and references with you.
14. Do speak with confidence and admit when you don't know something.
I did all the Do`s and none of the Do Not`s today...I think that deserves a reward.
Thursday 21 July 2011
The Death of Surprise
So this weekend will see the premiere of Captain America: The First Avenger and it got me to thinking about how much I already know about this movie. I know pretty much the whole plot. I've seen quite a few clips online (and I don't just mean the trailers). I know the entire cast and who has cameo's, and what those cameo's are. I even know what the scene is going to be after the credits. I have way too much knowledge about this movie. Even if I had tried to stay away from it, there's still all kinds of things that would have caught my eye, like headlines of articles or the like. I think I just miss the suprise and mystique of the way movies used to be. Remember when all you knew about a movie was from a small trailer and a voiceover from that movie trailer voiceover guy? Maybe you read a review of the movie the day before it came out and that's about all you know? It kinda sucks that a movie can't be shrouded in mystery anymore. Remember the first trailers for Independance Day? All you saw was the White House blowing up and that was it...you really wanted to know WTF was going on; I know I did. Can we ever get back to that? Can a movie remain a secret again? Can I ever resist the temptation to find out everything about a movie I really want to see before it comes out? Probably not, but for some movies, I'll sure give it my best.
Tuesday 19 July 2011
Unemployment Depression
It's July 19th and I've been unemployed for the longest stretch of time since I started working for the Micheal J. Fox theatre back when I was in high school. It's starting to wear at me and the constant rejection from job after job can really take a toll on one's sense of self worth. It fosters a feeling of lethargy, helplessness, and yes, a bit of depression. Fortunately I have friends and family that are looking out for me and making a tough time quite a bit easier than it is for most people. Just this past weekend, JR and I were ordering food from a cart vendor on Granville and right beside us was a guy about my age, rooting through the trash looking for food. I looked at him and thought, "The only difference between this guy and me is the friend I have standing right beside me." I'm keeping a physical and mental list of everything everyone has done for me over the last few months, and when I get back on my feet (and rest assured that I will), these people will be thanked appropriately; and I don't just mean a hearty appreciation at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
On a lighter note, my son finally got a haircut. Now he looks like a little boy again instead of a long haired hippie.
On a lighter note, my son finally got a haircut. Now he looks like a little boy again instead of a long haired hippie.
A Few Words of Advice over Pancakes
First things first, I want to give a shout out to NF. He's a friend of mine that I used to sail with when I was in the Navy and is still a good friend today. He's the reason that everything East of Ottawa is dead to me instead of everything East of Edmonton. being dead to me. He's the only person I know that knows how to play, and can give me competition for, Backgammon. He sent me a message complimenting me on my newly made blog, so he gets a shout out.
Now onto other things.
I was in Vancouver this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, my mom, step-dad, and RR all live in Vancouver. This weekend though, JR's ship was in North Vancouver, so I had the added benefit of hanging out with him this weekend. It was a pretty busy weekend, filled mostly with fun. On Monday I headed back to Victoria, but first, I went to North Vancouver to visit SS. She was feeling terrible because some guy had taken advantage of her and her kindness and then treated her like s#it. I was a good listener, and I can sympathize with her, and it made me somewhat angry that anybody treated anybody like that, let alone someone I care about. The worst part is, this is not the first time I've heard a story like this from a woman, and I'm sad to say that it won't be the last, so ladies, here's some advice.
1. If anything raises a red flag for you (he has never had a relationship over 3 months, he collects Barbie dolls, he has a restraining order against him), run...don't walk, run.
2. If he has a mullet...run.
3. If he mentions his ex too much...walk away.
4. If he doesn't call or talk to you for days, consider it over. (there are exception to this rule for some very select people, like guy in Afghanistan or out to sea)
5. If he leads every conversation with a sexual subject, he doesn't care about you and just wants sex...also he's not very classy.
6. If he farts in front of you, he's comfortable with you...this is a good thing.
I find it only fair to dispense some advice for the men too.
1. If you're in an argument and it's about something small and petty, let it go. In the end, it's not worth it.
2. If you're in an argument and it's about something important, stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. The least attractive quality to a woman is cowardice and not standing up for your principles.
3. Women can be very forgiving; just don't screw up the same way twice.
4. Don't feel bad for doing something without your woman if she's not interested, but always invite her; it's common courtesy.
5. If she has more than 3 cats...run...run fast and run far.
6. Call her, text her, e-mail her, facebook message her, IM her...do what you have to, but communicate with her on a regular basis. Just don't start everything with something sexual...it's not classy at all.
Now onto other things.
I was in Vancouver this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, my mom, step-dad, and RR all live in Vancouver. This weekend though, JR's ship was in North Vancouver, so I had the added benefit of hanging out with him this weekend. It was a pretty busy weekend, filled mostly with fun. On Monday I headed back to Victoria, but first, I went to North Vancouver to visit SS. She was feeling terrible because some guy had taken advantage of her and her kindness and then treated her like s#it. I was a good listener, and I can sympathize with her, and it made me somewhat angry that anybody treated anybody like that, let alone someone I care about. The worst part is, this is not the first time I've heard a story like this from a woman, and I'm sad to say that it won't be the last, so ladies, here's some advice.
1. If anything raises a red flag for you (he has never had a relationship over 3 months, he collects Barbie dolls, he has a restraining order against him), run...don't walk, run.
2. If he has a mullet...run.
3. If he mentions his ex too much...walk away.
4. If he doesn't call or talk to you for days, consider it over. (there are exception to this rule for some very select people, like guy in Afghanistan or out to sea)
5. If he leads every conversation with a sexual subject, he doesn't care about you and just wants sex...also he's not very classy.
6. If he farts in front of you, he's comfortable with you...this is a good thing.
I find it only fair to dispense some advice for the men too.
1. If you're in an argument and it's about something small and petty, let it go. In the end, it's not worth it.
2. If you're in an argument and it's about something important, stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. The least attractive quality to a woman is cowardice and not standing up for your principles.
3. Women can be very forgiving; just don't screw up the same way twice.
4. Don't feel bad for doing something without your woman if she's not interested, but always invite her; it's common courtesy.
5. If she has more than 3 cats...run...run fast and run far.
6. Call her, text her, e-mail her, facebook message her, IM her...do what you have to, but communicate with her on a regular basis. Just don't start everything with something sexual...it's not classy at all.
Saturday 16 July 2011
My Mom
I arrived in Vancouver today. My mom immediately mentioned how she hasn't been mentioned in my blog, so this one is a post for her. Here's some things about my mom that I know:
My mom is smart and she has no problem mentioning it to me over and over again.
My mom is short. Almost midget short, but not quite.
My mom, like most people her age, claims to know all about how to use a computer, but can't figure out how to download a TV show.
My mom is the reason I finished high school.
My mom has excellent taste in friends and mediocre taste in television.
My mom is super funny when she's had 1 glass of wine, a riot on 2 glasses, and passed out on 3.
My mom is a Chevy girl. I don't know if that's weird, but there it is.
My mom taught me just about everything I need to know, including how to be a smarty pants.
My mom made a promise to take me to Vegas when I was 21...it only took her 10 years after I was 21 for her to fulfill that promise, but she did fulfill it.
My mom once closed a car door on my hand. 2 of my fingers have permanent indentations from this incident.
My mom once fell off a bathroom counter, hitting a towel bar on the way down and severely bruising her butt. She insisted on showing me the bruise...I am still traumatized.
My mom has excellent taste in house decoration...this is not a skill she passed on to me.
My mom taught me how to not rely on other people for cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
There's a lot more to my mom than what I have here, but I can't have her ego getting bigger than mine.
My mom is smart and she has no problem mentioning it to me over and over again.
My mom is short. Almost midget short, but not quite.
My mom, like most people her age, claims to know all about how to use a computer, but can't figure out how to download a TV show.
My mom is the reason I finished high school.
My mom has excellent taste in friends and mediocre taste in television.
My mom is super funny when she's had 1 glass of wine, a riot on 2 glasses, and passed out on 3.
My mom is a Chevy girl. I don't know if that's weird, but there it is.
My mom taught me just about everything I need to know, including how to be a smarty pants.
My mom made a promise to take me to Vegas when I was 21...it only took her 10 years after I was 21 for her to fulfill that promise, but she did fulfill it.
My mom once closed a car door on my hand. 2 of my fingers have permanent indentations from this incident.
My mom once fell off a bathroom counter, hitting a towel bar on the way down and severely bruising her butt. She insisted on showing me the bruise...I am still traumatized.
My mom has excellent taste in house decoration...this is not a skill she passed on to me.
My mom taught me how to not rely on other people for cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
There's a lot more to my mom than what I have here, but I can't have her ego getting bigger than mine.
Thoughts of a 3am drunk
It's almost 3am. I went to see the last Harry Potter movie with a good friend of mine. Afterward, I returned home, had a few drinks, which led to a few more drinks, which led to me thinking that it would be a good idea to start writing down some thoughts; so for good or ill, here's what I think:
I think the last time I was truly happy in a romantic relationship was 2006. It has recently come to my attention that the relationship I had with that person will never happen again.
I think there's part of me that feels empty because of this.
I think JR and RR are my best friends for a reason. A recent "tiff" with RR only served to solidify that in my mind, while JR's actions over the last couple months may qualify him for sainthood.
I think I owe my friends more than can be counted in dollars.
I think that nobody, not even myself, will ever understand why I can't stand to drink any hot beverages.
I think everything East of Ottawa is dead to me now.
I think that I like my step-dad more than my own dad.
I think I'm proud of my sister, but find it odd that she won't have pepper in the house.
I think that I have excellent opinions on television, despite the fact that my favorite shows keep getting cancelled and "trash" tv just keeps on going.
I think I'm afraid, but I'm not entirely sure of what.
I think back on the happiest times of my life and most of them involve being in a car on an open stretch of highway with either RR or JR in the passenger seat. (that's "most" of them, mom, not all)
I think that this blog post is over.
I think the last time I was truly happy in a romantic relationship was 2006. It has recently come to my attention that the relationship I had with that person will never happen again.
I think there's part of me that feels empty because of this.
I think JR and RR are my best friends for a reason. A recent "tiff" with RR only served to solidify that in my mind, while JR's actions over the last couple months may qualify him for sainthood.
I think I owe my friends more than can be counted in dollars.
I think that nobody, not even myself, will ever understand why I can't stand to drink any hot beverages.
I think everything East of Ottawa is dead to me now.
I think that I like my step-dad more than my own dad.
I think I'm proud of my sister, but find it odd that she won't have pepper in the house.
I think that I have excellent opinions on television, despite the fact that my favorite shows keep getting cancelled and "trash" tv just keeps on going.
I think I'm afraid, but I'm not entirely sure of what.
I think back on the happiest times of my life and most of them involve being in a car on an open stretch of highway with either RR or JR in the passenger seat. (that's "most" of them, mom, not all)
I think that this blog post is over.
Friday 15 July 2011
Introductions
Welcome to my blog. As it's my first time here, I thought some introductions were in order.
Let's start with the facts:
I'm Jonathan...Jon for short.
I'm 31 years old.
I was born in Halifax, NS.
I live in Victoria, BC.
I'm a single dad.
I will refer to anybody other than myself by using their initials.
JR and RR are my best friends.
I'm not a writer; I'm just an average guy trying to get by.
Any other personal history will be revealed as we go.
Let's start with the facts:
I'm Jonathan...Jon for short.
I'm 31 years old.
I was born in Halifax, NS.
I live in Victoria, BC.
I'm a single dad.
I will refer to anybody other than myself by using their initials.
JR and RR are my best friends.
I'm not a writer; I'm just an average guy trying to get by.
Any other personal history will be revealed as we go.
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