It's late and I'm sitting here with a blank page in front of me and I'm trying to think about what to write. I have RR's voice in the front of my head saying, "You can't just set out to write something, you have to let it come naturally." I can't remember if he said that (or something similar) or if it was someone else, but it's my mind, so it's RR's voice, and my mom's voice in the back of my head from who knows how many years ago saying, "Write about what you know." Well forget that. I'll just write about whatever comes to mind...there will be a few things.
I'm good with computers and technology in general. I can pick up a device and figure out how to use it very quickly. The only bad thing is that I have become free tech support for everyone I know. For the most part, I don't mind. My friend CC asked me to build him a desktop computer with a reasonable amount of money. It'll be fun and I don't mind that. JN asked me to see why her PS3 won't talk with media on her computer. I didn't mind that either. (I couldn't figure it out...I'm having the same problem too) My mom asked me to make her a DVD of music videos. She provided the list, I'm making the DVD. I kind of owe her since back in the 80's, she made a carefully edited VHS tape of music videos that I taped over with a Gilligan's Island marathon. These people are very close friends or family and I never mind helping them out. What I don't like is being asked by passing acquaintances, people I barely know, or just random people online, if I can help them with their computer problems. I usually feign ignorance for their problems, but in all honesty, I'm thinking, "Yes, I could help you out, but I don't want to, and you should go away."
I wasn't overly concerned about it until recently, but now I'm kind of thinking that I'll end up with cancer. My paternal grandmother had it and so does my dad and all his siblings. This sounds like it runs in the family. Over the last 5 years or so, I had wholly different reasons (which I won't get into right now) for supporting cancer research. Now I think supporting cancer research could benefit me directly, which scares the hell out of me. It's definitely in the top 5 of my current fears.
I've called this blog Confessions of a Bachelor, but I really haven't made too many confessions...so let's get a few out in the open and off my chest...not all these will be about relationship stuff.
Until a few years ago, I had the worst break ups ever. Well it's not so much that the break ups were bad, it was more my execution of them that was bad. I've broken up with women by leaving a note on her dooor, texting, e-mail, phone call...rarely did it happen in person. On the flip side of that, I've been dumped by most of those methods as well, so I know what it's like on the other end.
If someone farted in the elevator...it was me.
I smoked cigarettes for a little while. I also have smoked cigars, and pot. I still have the occasional cigar. The person that will be surprised by this the most will be my mom....that should be enough confessions for one blog.
I speak confidently. In fact, I speak so confidently that even when I'm wrong, and people know I'm wrong, they frequently doubt themselves and think that I'm right. I think I learned this mostly from my mom, and I'm pretty sure this is how she fooled me into thinking that she knows everything when I was a kid. I use the same technique on my own kid now. This isn't the only thing I picked up from my mom about parenting. I've more than once heard her words coming out of my mouth. First it was scary...now it's just funny.
Friday 14 October 2011
Thursday 6 October 2011
Zoom Zoom Zoom Part 2
Now your trip can have one destination, or a few. On my trip down to LA (it's a small town in Southern California), RR and I made San Francisco a major stop on the way. On the first trip through Alberta, Edmonton and Calgary were both major stops as well. The important part is to make sure you know what to do when you get there. Which brings us to Step 7 and Rule 7.
Step 7 - Have fun in your destination.
Rule 7 - You're a tourist, and tourist attractions are fun (for the most part)
It's probably a good idea to have something in mind when you go, a few goals to achieve. On this last trip, one of my goals was to hit the Water park at West Edmonton Mall. It's a major tourist attraction at a major tourist destination...it was easily achieved. One of RR's goals was to eat at a Red Lobster...again, easily achieved. But sometimes things aren't always known beforehand. Sometimes you stumble on things, which bring me to the next rule.
Rule 8 - Seize an opportunity.
Nothing exemplifies this more than my trip to London. We were heading to the Churchill museum and Cabinet War Rooms (highly recommended if you go to London), just down the street from the Parliament Building. On the way was Westminster Abbey. It's pretty impressive from the outside, but (despite the insistence from my mother) I was not planning on going inside. There was a giant line to get it (the British do know how to queue), and I figured, "meh...it's just a church." But on the Abbey grounds is St. Margaret’s Chapel, which was open and had no line. It was significantly impressive to make me say, "Screw it...I'll wait in the line, but I have to see the full Abbey." Fortunately the super long line was for credit card and debit. The cash line had about 10 people in it and we all made it in very quickly; and boy am I glad we did. It was VERY impressive, and a good example of how seizing the opportunity worked out in our favour.
Step 8 - Start the return trip home
Yes, now the vacation is winding down and it's time to start heading home. If you haven't planned it out already, the return route may be open for some debate. With places like LA or Portland, there's less choices for a route back than someplace like Edmonton or Calgary. On this latest trip, RR was thinking about taking an alternate route back. As a good road trip companion, I followed Rule 9.
Rule 9 - Sometimes you have to sit back and let the other guy have carte blanche with everything.
I told him that he could pick whatever route he wanted and I would drive it, stopping wherever he chose for the night. He ended up scrapping the idea and we just went back the route we went out on. Oddly enough, on every road trip RR and I have been on, the trip back is always faster than the trip out. Neither of us could tell you why. It's not even that I drive faster (on average I'm always 10 km/h over the limit), nor does it just seem faster...it actually is faster. On the way back from Barriere, we even stopped for lunch an hour outside Vancouver, and we still arrived back earlier than I thought we would.
Step 9 - Arrive home
Now your trip is over. You're back home. Congratulations on successfully completing a road trip. There are a handful of other rules which didn't fit into the narrative, so here we go.
Rule 10 - If you're travelling to Edmonton from Vancouver, bring your own food or prepare to eat a lot of A&W.
Rule 11 - If there's something you really don't want to do, let the other guy have his fun while you wait and/or do something else.
Rule 12 - Make sure you get windshield wiper fluid with bug dissolving agents in it.
Rule 13 - There's only a couple of you...you know who "dealt it", so just admit it.
Rule 14 - Use cruise control...a lot.
Rule 15 - Don't let music be your only entertainment. Discussion and trivia can stimulating for the mind and helps keep you awake on boring highways.
Rule 16 - When you get gas, use the bathroom, regardless on whether or not you need to.
Rule 17 - Bring bottles of water, because some rest stops don't have sinks.
Rule 18 - Always steal the hotel soap
Rule 19 - If you road trip with someone who snores, bring earplugs.
There might be more rules later....If there are, I'll make a special post about them.
Step 7 - Have fun in your destination.
Rule 7 - You're a tourist, and tourist attractions are fun (for the most part)
It's probably a good idea to have something in mind when you go, a few goals to achieve. On this last trip, one of my goals was to hit the Water park at West Edmonton Mall. It's a major tourist attraction at a major tourist destination...it was easily achieved. One of RR's goals was to eat at a Red Lobster...again, easily achieved. But sometimes things aren't always known beforehand. Sometimes you stumble on things, which bring me to the next rule.
Rule 8 - Seize an opportunity.
Nothing exemplifies this more than my trip to London. We were heading to the Churchill museum and Cabinet War Rooms (highly recommended if you go to London), just down the street from the Parliament Building. On the way was Westminster Abbey. It's pretty impressive from the outside, but (despite the insistence from my mother) I was not planning on going inside. There was a giant line to get it (the British do know how to queue), and I figured, "meh...it's just a church." But on the Abbey grounds is St. Margaret’s Chapel, which was open and had no line. It was significantly impressive to make me say, "Screw it...I'll wait in the line, but I have to see the full Abbey." Fortunately the super long line was for credit card and debit. The cash line had about 10 people in it and we all made it in very quickly; and boy am I glad we did. It was VERY impressive, and a good example of how seizing the opportunity worked out in our favour.
Step 8 - Start the return trip home
Yes, now the vacation is winding down and it's time to start heading home. If you haven't planned it out already, the return route may be open for some debate. With places like LA or Portland, there's less choices for a route back than someplace like Edmonton or Calgary. On this latest trip, RR was thinking about taking an alternate route back. As a good road trip companion, I followed Rule 9.
Rule 9 - Sometimes you have to sit back and let the other guy have carte blanche with everything.
I told him that he could pick whatever route he wanted and I would drive it, stopping wherever he chose for the night. He ended up scrapping the idea and we just went back the route we went out on. Oddly enough, on every road trip RR and I have been on, the trip back is always faster than the trip out. Neither of us could tell you why. It's not even that I drive faster (on average I'm always 10 km/h over the limit), nor does it just seem faster...it actually is faster. On the way back from Barriere, we even stopped for lunch an hour outside Vancouver, and we still arrived back earlier than I thought we would.
Step 9 - Arrive home
Now your trip is over. You're back home. Congratulations on successfully completing a road trip. There are a handful of other rules which didn't fit into the narrative, so here we go.
Rule 10 - If you're travelling to Edmonton from Vancouver, bring your own food or prepare to eat a lot of A&W.
Rule 11 - If there's something you really don't want to do, let the other guy have his fun while you wait and/or do something else.
Rule 12 - Make sure you get windshield wiper fluid with bug dissolving agents in it.
Rule 13 - There's only a couple of you...you know who "dealt it", so just admit it.
Rule 14 - Use cruise control...a lot.
Rule 15 - Don't let music be your only entertainment. Discussion and trivia can stimulating for the mind and helps keep you awake on boring highways.
Rule 16 - When you get gas, use the bathroom, regardless on whether or not you need to.
Rule 17 - Bring bottles of water, because some rest stops don't have sinks.
Rule 18 - Always steal the hotel soap
Rule 19 - If you road trip with someone who snores, bring earplugs.
There might be more rules later....If there are, I'll make a special post about them.
Tuesday 4 October 2011
Zoom Zoom Zoom Part 1
Over the last 12 years, I've been on a good handul of road trips. All of them (except 1) have been with RR. We've been to Seattle, Portland, San Francisco, Edmonton, Calgary, and a few other smaller places. We've seen dust devils and a California wildfire. We've driven through wind, rain, sleet, snow, fog, heat, lightning, and gloom of night...except for that one time just outside Canmore where it was getting dark and the rain was so bad that we had to stop (video explaination available here @ the 2:20 mark). We have road tripping down to a science, but we hadn't been on a solid road trip in years, so when RR had some vacation time and took his birthday week off, we went on a road trip. I guess this post is almost a guide on how to have a good road trip. I'll break it up into steps and rules.
First things first, you have to be in the right mindset. With everything on a road trip, you have to keep an open mind. Secondly, never reject any idea out of hand; always use careful consideration. Let's make that the first 2 rules.
Rule 1 and 2: Don't be a dick.
With this in mind, we come to the first big hurdle...where to go. I suggested Seattle. It's not too far, it's familiar ground, but on the downside, it's been done...almost to death, so already I wasn't married to the idea. RR (after careful consideration) rejected the idea, as this may interfere with my EI, but then suggested Edmonton. Seeing no downside, I agreed, and the destination was established. Now it was time to plan the route. Let's start numbering these things.
Step 1 - Choose Destination
Step 2 - Plan your route
This one was simple. We take Hwy #1 until we can get on Hwy #5, then take Hwy #16 into Edmonton. It's the most direct route and the whole thing would have taken about 12 hours if we had driven it straight. RR suggested we throw in a stop on the way. Keeping an open mind, I agreed and let him work his magic. He picked a chain hotel in a small town called Barriere, just North of Kamloops. It would take us about 5 hours to get there, which breaks up the trip nicely. One thing to note, only the drivers get to have final say about the route and how long they're willing to drive on it, but don't be a dick about it.
Step 3 - Plan your stops (including accomodations)
From there, my first concern was in car entertainment, particularly the music. Which leads up into the next step:
Step 4 - Bring enough music
Now there's many ways of solving this problem. You could just say "It's all Rush, all the time", but that seems a little uneve. Early on, we burned CD's, then later MP3 CD's of our favorite music. This had some limited success. We found that whenever an MP3 CD was played on random, songs by Collective Soul would frequently pop up. It became somewhat of a scourge and we've limited the number of Collective Soul songs on road trips ever since. My car can now read a USB sitck, so I just asked RR to give me 5GB of music. I meelded with my 5GB, tossed it in and set it to random. This was met with great success.
Rule 3 - Make sure the distribution of music is fair and balanced
Now I know what you're thinking, "What if there's crap that he puts on that I don't like?" This is why we came up with a 'veto' rule. RR and I allow one song to be vetoed every 1/2 hour by each of us. Follow Rule #1 and #2 and there won't be too much of a problem. RR and I have somewhat different tastes in music. He likes what he likes, I like what I like, and there's a whole handful of stuff that we both like. Usually on a road trip, I'm exposed to music I've never heard and end up enjoying quite a bit. I'm sure it's the same way on his side too. Which brings us to step 5 and rule 4.
Step 5 - Pack your bags
Rule 4 - Don't over pack your bags
Do I really need to mention much more about that? If you're going for a 4 day trip, don't pack like you're going on a jungle safari for 3 months. Remember to pack some snacks and make sure that some of those snacks include beef jerkey (the perfect roadtrip treat) and Red Bull (because driving in Alberta gets boring).
Step 6 - Drive (or Navigate)
Now you can finally hit the road. All the prep is done and the trip can begin. Getting the trip underway is such a rewarding feeling. I mentioned in an earlier post about Unemployment Depression; well nothing cures it like getting started on a road trip with your best friend. Roles have to be established though. Whoever isn't the driver is the navigator and gets whatever the driver needs, as long as he's not being a dick about it. It's trade offs like this that keep people from arguments on a fun trip. Which brings us to Rule 5.
Rule 5 - Whoever pumps the gas, the other guy does the windows.
This simple rule, and RR's mastery of navigation supremely impressed my sister while we were in Edmonton and Calgary. RR is attuned to what I need to hear as a driver that he can give me excellent directions. My sister, on the other hand, gives directions so poorly, that I don't know if she knows where she's going half the time. "Left turn in 200m onto 72nd st. You'll want to be in the lane to your left." is how RR would give directions. My sister on the other hand is more like, "Left...left..left.left.LEFT!LEFT!!LEFT!!!". I was unable to move into the left lane. So keep the next rule in mind:
Rule 6 - Taking the wrong exit and missing the right exit are equal amounts of fun!
First things first, you have to be in the right mindset. With everything on a road trip, you have to keep an open mind. Secondly, never reject any idea out of hand; always use careful consideration. Let's make that the first 2 rules.
Rule 1 and 2: Don't be a dick.
With this in mind, we come to the first big hurdle...where to go. I suggested Seattle. It's not too far, it's familiar ground, but on the downside, it's been done...almost to death, so already I wasn't married to the idea. RR (after careful consideration) rejected the idea, as this may interfere with my EI, but then suggested Edmonton. Seeing no downside, I agreed, and the destination was established. Now it was time to plan the route. Let's start numbering these things.
Step 1 - Choose Destination
Step 2 - Plan your route
This one was simple. We take Hwy #1 until we can get on Hwy #5, then take Hwy #16 into Edmonton. It's the most direct route and the whole thing would have taken about 12 hours if we had driven it straight. RR suggested we throw in a stop on the way. Keeping an open mind, I agreed and let him work his magic. He picked a chain hotel in a small town called Barriere, just North of Kamloops. It would take us about 5 hours to get there, which breaks up the trip nicely. One thing to note, only the drivers get to have final say about the route and how long they're willing to drive on it, but don't be a dick about it.
Step 3 - Plan your stops (including accomodations)
From there, my first concern was in car entertainment, particularly the music. Which leads up into the next step:
Step 4 - Bring enough music
Now there's many ways of solving this problem. You could just say "It's all Rush, all the time", but that seems a little uneve. Early on, we burned CD's, then later MP3 CD's of our favorite music. This had some limited success. We found that whenever an MP3 CD was played on random, songs by Collective Soul would frequently pop up. It became somewhat of a scourge and we've limited the number of Collective Soul songs on road trips ever since. My car can now read a USB sitck, so I just asked RR to give me 5GB of music. I meelded with my 5GB, tossed it in and set it to random. This was met with great success.
Rule 3 - Make sure the distribution of music is fair and balanced
Now I know what you're thinking, "What if there's crap that he puts on that I don't like?" This is why we came up with a 'veto' rule. RR and I allow one song to be vetoed every 1/2 hour by each of us. Follow Rule #1 and #2 and there won't be too much of a problem. RR and I have somewhat different tastes in music. He likes what he likes, I like what I like, and there's a whole handful of stuff that we both like. Usually on a road trip, I'm exposed to music I've never heard and end up enjoying quite a bit. I'm sure it's the same way on his side too. Which brings us to step 5 and rule 4.
Step 5 - Pack your bags
Rule 4 - Don't over pack your bags
Do I really need to mention much more about that? If you're going for a 4 day trip, don't pack like you're going on a jungle safari for 3 months. Remember to pack some snacks and make sure that some of those snacks include beef jerkey (the perfect roadtrip treat) and Red Bull (because driving in Alberta gets boring).
Step 6 - Drive (or Navigate)
Now you can finally hit the road. All the prep is done and the trip can begin. Getting the trip underway is such a rewarding feeling. I mentioned in an earlier post about Unemployment Depression; well nothing cures it like getting started on a road trip with your best friend. Roles have to be established though. Whoever isn't the driver is the navigator and gets whatever the driver needs, as long as he's not being a dick about it. It's trade offs like this that keep people from arguments on a fun trip. Which brings us to Rule 5.
Rule 5 - Whoever pumps the gas, the other guy does the windows.
This simple rule, and RR's mastery of navigation supremely impressed my sister while we were in Edmonton and Calgary. RR is attuned to what I need to hear as a driver that he can give me excellent directions. My sister, on the other hand, gives directions so poorly, that I don't know if she knows where she's going half the time. "Left turn in 200m onto 72nd st. You'll want to be in the lane to your left." is how RR would give directions. My sister on the other hand is more like, "Left...left..left.left.LEFT!LEFT!!LEFT!!!". I was unable to move into the left lane. So keep the next rule in mind:
Rule 6 - Taking the wrong exit and missing the right exit are equal amounts of fun!
Thursday 8 September 2011
The phone call
I was in Vancouver for the last little while. I went to have dinner with my mom, and on the way back, I noticed that I had missed a call...with a 902 area code (the area code for Halifax). There was a voicemail which confirmed my suspicion...it was my dad. This was the first I had heard from my father in almost 2 years. It was hard to tell on the message, but I'm pretty sure he had a couple beers down range when he called. The message went something like this,
"Hey kid, It's Rick...your dad. I'm calling to say hi and that I'd like to hear your voice. I have some good news and some not so good news. Please give me a call back at this number...it's...hold on a f#cking second, it's around here somewhere...well you probably see it on your phone...f#ck...here it is....902-xxx-xxxx. So give me a call; love you kiddo" *click*
Now my mom, being the insidiously curious type, insists that I tell her what he said in the message. So I do and then I start the mental process of steeling myself for calling my dad back. As I previously mentioned in another post, one of my 101 goals was to tell my dad why I don't talk to him anymore. I called him back. He was happy to hear from me and very apologetic about the lack of communication over the last couple years. He was very emotional and when he started to redirect some of the blame, I stayed strong and shut that down, making sure he understood that there was nobody to blame but himself. Then I said that if he wants a relationship that he MUST phone at least once a month and he MUST be sober for those calls and if he can't commit to that, then I will no longer entertain a relationship with him. He agreed...then he told me the bad news. My uncle is on his deathbed with only a couple months to live. That's horrible news since I really liked my uncle. He was always good to me, as was his wife and my cousin. So already in a state of shock and emotional upheaval from learning that, my dad tells me that he's been diagnosed with cancer in his left eye, and it's at the back of the eye...now I really feel like shit. Luckily it's treatable, but he'll lose the vision in that eye, if not the whole eye altogether. He starts a 5 day radiation treatment on Monday...my fingers are crossed that he makes it out ok.
After he tells me all that, then he goes into more promises about coming out to visit, etc. etc....rhetoric that he's been spewing for the last 30 years that just never sees fruition and that took me from emotionally distraught right back to pissed off again. Cancer or no, I let him have it with both barrels. I told him that I want to NEVER hear another empty promise from him again. He can say he's coming out when he has a ticket in hand and NO SOONER! We ended the conversation there with him promising to call on Tuesday after a consult with the Oncologist...and to my surprise, he actually did call. Maybe my relationship with my dad isn't so bleak after all. Only time will tell, but I think I may give him one...last...chance.
The next blog post will be funny, I swear!
"Hey kid, It's Rick...your dad. I'm calling to say hi and that I'd like to hear your voice. I have some good news and some not so good news. Please give me a call back at this number...it's...hold on a f#cking second, it's around here somewhere...well you probably see it on your phone...f#ck...here it is....902-xxx-xxxx. So give me a call; love you kiddo" *click*
Now my mom, being the insidiously curious type, insists that I tell her what he said in the message. So I do and then I start the mental process of steeling myself for calling my dad back. As I previously mentioned in another post, one of my 101 goals was to tell my dad why I don't talk to him anymore. I called him back. He was happy to hear from me and very apologetic about the lack of communication over the last couple years. He was very emotional and when he started to redirect some of the blame, I stayed strong and shut that down, making sure he understood that there was nobody to blame but himself. Then I said that if he wants a relationship that he MUST phone at least once a month and he MUST be sober for those calls and if he can't commit to that, then I will no longer entertain a relationship with him. He agreed...then he told me the bad news. My uncle is on his deathbed with only a couple months to live. That's horrible news since I really liked my uncle. He was always good to me, as was his wife and my cousin. So already in a state of shock and emotional upheaval from learning that, my dad tells me that he's been diagnosed with cancer in his left eye, and it's at the back of the eye...now I really feel like shit. Luckily it's treatable, but he'll lose the vision in that eye, if not the whole eye altogether. He starts a 5 day radiation treatment on Monday...my fingers are crossed that he makes it out ok.
After he tells me all that, then he goes into more promises about coming out to visit, etc. etc....rhetoric that he's been spewing for the last 30 years that just never sees fruition and that took me from emotionally distraught right back to pissed off again. Cancer or no, I let him have it with both barrels. I told him that I want to NEVER hear another empty promise from him again. He can say he's coming out when he has a ticket in hand and NO SOONER! We ended the conversation there with him promising to call on Tuesday after a consult with the Oncologist...and to my surprise, he actually did call. Maybe my relationship with my dad isn't so bleak after all. Only time will tell, but I think I may give him one...last...chance.
The next blog post will be funny, I swear!
Tuesday 30 August 2011
You want what now?
So my sister is with my parents vacationing in Hawaii. Before she left, her dad (we have different fathers, but the same mom) asked her to get him some cheap, duty free cigarette's. Seeing as how he's kind of a deadbeat who let's his relationship with my sister deteriorate and only calls her when he needs/wants something, she refused. This is where the story should have ended...but it's not. He then has the pretentiousness to ask her again AND to ask her to ask our mother to get him cheap smokes too. She sends back a quick message saying, "As I said earlier I will not support your smoking habit! I'm pretty sure I speak for my mom as well!" Well the story really, really needed to end there...but wait, there's more! He wrote back...well, I'm just going to copy and paste it:
CB,
CB,
Dr.'s orders..."do not try & quit smoking when you are under stress as you will not be successful and it adds to your stress." Ask ANY Dr.
How about dropping the self-righteous crap for once and doing me a favour? BTW your Mom was also a smoker when I met her. The one time I quit was when you were born!
Thanks!!
Dad
Well just based on this message alone I've decided to unfriend him on facebook and to no longer have contact with him in any regard...my sister should probably do the same. I just cannot even fathom why he would send a message like this. Someone please comment and explain it to me!
Vancouver
I'm in Vancouver right now, staying at my parents place while they're in Hawaii and I wanted to share some rules I've discovered while I'm here.
1. Regardless of outside temperature, if there's any sun out, my parents place is overly warm.
2. There's no road that isn't under some form of construction.
3. Cyclists here aren't nearly as pretentious as cyclists in Victoria.
4. Everybody in Victoria drives slow...everyone who's been pissed off about it and wants to drive super fast now lives in Vancouver.
5. If there is a crazy person out there, they will be immediately drawn to, and talk to, my mom.
6. The International Village Theatre is one of the most comfortable I've ever been in.
7. The International Village Theatre mostly shows movies I don't want to see, but it also shows all the movies I do want to see that a Silvercity won't show.
8. There's no rhyme or reason to what's being played on Jack FM.
9. X-Box 360 Kinect voice control is fun, but a little creepy.
10. Always be polite to your X-Box 360...you never know when it's going to gain sentience.
11. Even though Metrotown (with over 500 stores) is only 3 blocks away, the only times I've needed things, they're for items that Metrotown doesn't have.
12. Metropolis comics (across from Metrotown) sucks. They're all about the money and it shows. Stores like that piss me off.
13. At the movie theatre, if you stand 30ft back from the concession counter to decide what you're going to get, someone will still ask you if you "need help with a combo".
14. There are regular people who ride the bus/skytrain...then there are "bus people". You have to learn how to spot them and how to avoid them.
15. There are parts of this city where my farts will improve the odour.
16. Regardless of time of day or night, Kingsway is a loud road.
17. Regardless of #16, I can sleep like the dead.
18. My farts do not improve anything at my parents place.
19. When I'm in my car with the windows down on a nice day, I like my music loud...my mom likes my music to be off.
20. Metrotown is a crowded mess and should be avoided if at all possible.
Update: I had a visit recently from my step-sister. It was a great visit and now only things East of Montreal are dead to me.
1. Regardless of outside temperature, if there's any sun out, my parents place is overly warm.
2. There's no road that isn't under some form of construction.
3. Cyclists here aren't nearly as pretentious as cyclists in Victoria.
4. Everybody in Victoria drives slow...everyone who's been pissed off about it and wants to drive super fast now lives in Vancouver.
5. If there is a crazy person out there, they will be immediately drawn to, and talk to, my mom.
6. The International Village Theatre is one of the most comfortable I've ever been in.
7. The International Village Theatre mostly shows movies I don't want to see, but it also shows all the movies I do want to see that a Silvercity won't show.
8. There's no rhyme or reason to what's being played on Jack FM.
9. X-Box 360 Kinect voice control is fun, but a little creepy.
10. Always be polite to your X-Box 360...you never know when it's going to gain sentience.
11. Even though Metrotown (with over 500 stores) is only 3 blocks away, the only times I've needed things, they're for items that Metrotown doesn't have.
12. Metropolis comics (across from Metrotown) sucks. They're all about the money and it shows. Stores like that piss me off.
13. At the movie theatre, if you stand 30ft back from the concession counter to decide what you're going to get, someone will still ask you if you "need help with a combo".
14. There are regular people who ride the bus/skytrain...then there are "bus people". You have to learn how to spot them and how to avoid them.
15. There are parts of this city where my farts will improve the odour.
16. Regardless of time of day or night, Kingsway is a loud road.
17. Regardless of #16, I can sleep like the dead.
18. My farts do not improve anything at my parents place.
19. When I'm in my car with the windows down on a nice day, I like my music loud...my mom likes my music to be off.
20. Metrotown is a crowded mess and should be avoided if at all possible.
Update: I had a visit recently from my step-sister. It was a great visit and now only things East of Montreal are dead to me.
Friday 19 August 2011
Goals
A little under a year ago, I signed up with the Day Zero Project. For those of you who don't know what that is (and I'm sure that's probably going to be all of you) it's a site where you list 101 goals to do in 1001 days. I'm currently 32% complete, and have 682 days left. The biggest challenge for me so far was thinking up 101 things to do...without any repeats. I know you're saying to yourself, "That's easy...I can do that no problem!", well it gets tougher to think of things around the 70 or 80 mark. These goals don't have to be lofty either. Some of my easier goals are to donate blood, or go horseback riding. I don't think I've ever been horseback riding in my life. I think my son has been on more horses than I have. I have donated blood though. Some of the more difficult to achieve goals I have are: dont' complain about anything for a week, go skydiving, don't swear for a week, go to a movie alone, get a SCUBA diving certificate, fly a plane. Think not swearing for a week is easy? When was the last time you went a week without cursing? Going to see a movie alone is a really tough one for me too. I did it when I was in high school once...and never have since. In fact, I've missed out on a lot of movies because everyone will have seen them and I haven't and couldn't go alone. I'm just glad that when the latest Star Trek movie came out, I had good enough friends that waited a week while I was at sea before seeing it so I wouldn't have to go alone. 2 of my goals are to dye my hair and shave my head...these might go hand in hand.
I think the hardest goal on my list is telling my dad why I don't talk to him anymore. I'm pretty sure that's going to be done in 681 days, unless he actually phones me...but after 1 year, 8 months, 19 days, 10 hours, and 5 minutes, I'm not holding my breath waiting for that call. I really should prepare for that call though, but how do you tell someone, especially your father, that unless he makes radical changes (which he's not likely to make) that you want nothing more to do with him? Do you emphasize his alcoholism and say you don't want your son influenced by it? Or do you mention his absence from your son's life and yours for the past 3 years? At any rate, I'll be skydiving out of a plane I flew up myself and then landing in water to scuba dive before that happens.
This website has really taught me the importance of having small, easily accomplished goals and how they fit into a larger goal. The large goal is to do 101 things in 1001 days...that's a big goal, but when I look at it, I see 1 or 2 things I can do this coming weekend (like flying a kite).
On a different note, today is the last day to vote for my mom, Christine, here. I've run a daily facebook campaign about this. She's the only one from BC to be nominated. Win or lose, I'm pretty proud of what she's accomplished with a few words done up in rhyme. I really hope she wins though, it's the best one there.
For those of you who want to see my full list, you can check it out here.
I think the hardest goal on my list is telling my dad why I don't talk to him anymore. I'm pretty sure that's going to be done in 681 days, unless he actually phones me...but after 1 year, 8 months, 19 days, 10 hours, and 5 minutes, I'm not holding my breath waiting for that call. I really should prepare for that call though, but how do you tell someone, especially your father, that unless he makes radical changes (which he's not likely to make) that you want nothing more to do with him? Do you emphasize his alcoholism and say you don't want your son influenced by it? Or do you mention his absence from your son's life and yours for the past 3 years? At any rate, I'll be skydiving out of a plane I flew up myself and then landing in water to scuba dive before that happens.
This website has really taught me the importance of having small, easily accomplished goals and how they fit into a larger goal. The large goal is to do 101 things in 1001 days...that's a big goal, but when I look at it, I see 1 or 2 things I can do this coming weekend (like flying a kite).
On a different note, today is the last day to vote for my mom, Christine, here. I've run a daily facebook campaign about this. She's the only one from BC to be nominated. Win or lose, I'm pretty proud of what she's accomplished with a few words done up in rhyme. I really hope she wins though, it's the best one there.
For those of you who want to see my full list, you can check it out here.
Wednesday 10 August 2011
Process This
I mentioned in an earlier post that I had seen a few episodes of Hell's Kitchen. Well lately I've been taken to watching it's younger and kinder sibling, Kitchen Nightmares. For those who are not familiar with the premise, Chef Gordon Ramsay goes to restaurants that are struggling and on the verge of collapse, finds out what's wrong, and fixes the place up. After watching 2 seasons of it, I started noticing a few common threads in every episode: every one of these restaurants has bad food and every one of these restaurants use processed and/or frozen food. Sometimes the restaurants get fresh food in and then freeze it. That's when I thought to myself, "Geez...I think I might be eating too much processed foods, and maybe the portions I use are too large. Maybe I should just start eating fresh foods and cutting back on the portions."
Committed to this idea, I went to the bookstore and bought a couple healthy eating cookbooks. This was a stroke of genius. I now have a few hundred recipes that have all kinds of foods I've never tried. I even made an attempt at baking bread. It turned out a little denser than I was hoping for, but it was delicious. Not being overly adventurous, I've just been sticking to simple things that I was familiar with, until last night. JR's mom and her fiancé were in town visiting and I thought that this would be a good idea to try one of the more complex dishes. It was a stuffed chicken breast wrapped in prosciutto with a side of mashed potato and steamed carrot medallions. I prepared it perfectly, using only fresh ingredients (even the herbs had to be fresh, not dried). It was probably one of the tastiest things I've cooked...ever. Everyone at the table was impressed as well. I used to have more of a passion for cooking. Working with these fresh ingredients and tasting things that I've never tasted before has been so rewarding that it has reignited my love of cooking.
The only challenge with eating like this is that I have to go to the grocery store every couple of days for fresh ingredients, so some minor planning is a must. But let the results speak for themselves. Look at the salad in this picture.
I made that for lunch...it took 5 minutes to prepare and was very delicious. I've fully hopped on the fresh food bandwagon...anybody want to join me?
Committed to this idea, I went to the bookstore and bought a couple healthy eating cookbooks. This was a stroke of genius. I now have a few hundred recipes that have all kinds of foods I've never tried. I even made an attempt at baking bread. It turned out a little denser than I was hoping for, but it was delicious. Not being overly adventurous, I've just been sticking to simple things that I was familiar with, until last night. JR's mom and her fiancé were in town visiting and I thought that this would be a good idea to try one of the more complex dishes. It was a stuffed chicken breast wrapped in prosciutto with a side of mashed potato and steamed carrot medallions. I prepared it perfectly, using only fresh ingredients (even the herbs had to be fresh, not dried). It was probably one of the tastiest things I've cooked...ever. Everyone at the table was impressed as well. I used to have more of a passion for cooking. Working with these fresh ingredients and tasting things that I've never tasted before has been so rewarding that it has reignited my love of cooking.
The only challenge with eating like this is that I have to go to the grocery store every couple of days for fresh ingredients, so some minor planning is a must. But let the results speak for themselves. Look at the salad in this picture.
Friday 5 August 2011
Bits and Bobs
Here are a handful of things I've learned:
Watching an episode of Hoarders is an excellent way to motivate yourself to clean up you house and throw away most of the crap you don't need.
Cooking isn't hard if you have fresh ingredients, as long as you don't overcook them or make strange combinations. (Chocolate sauce and fish rarely go together)
Everyone should have at least one uncle named Bob. I'm lucky enough to have 2.
Gentleman, regardless of how good your body looks, Speedo's are illegal.
Don't put your name on s#it work.
I don't care how old you are, how much money you make, or how disgusted you pretend to be, when silence is broken with a fart, it's always funny.
Never spend a Christmas alone...it sucks.
If you think "roughing it" means "without room service" then camping is not for you and you shouldn't even try.
Games are fun, never stop playing them...except Monopoly...that game can go straight to hell.
Always listen to the advice of your mom.
Hindsight is usually better than 20/20...it's more like 60/20.
Clothes have an expiry date...if you haven't worn it in over a year, it's expired.
Never find out what goes into a hot dog; it'll only ruin it for you.
When you travel, always try some local cuisine.
Going to a movie alone is not as enjoyable as you might think.
Doing your own maintenance and minor repairs to your car can save you money and be rewarding at the same time.
Don't be the creepy guy.
Did I mention to always listen to the advice of your mom?
Watching an episode of Hoarders is an excellent way to motivate yourself to clean up you house and throw away most of the crap you don't need.
Cooking isn't hard if you have fresh ingredients, as long as you don't overcook them or make strange combinations. (Chocolate sauce and fish rarely go together)
Everyone should have at least one uncle named Bob. I'm lucky enough to have 2.
Gentleman, regardless of how good your body looks, Speedo's are illegal.
Don't put your name on s#it work.
I don't care how old you are, how much money you make, or how disgusted you pretend to be, when silence is broken with a fart, it's always funny.
Never spend a Christmas alone...it sucks.
If you think "roughing it" means "without room service" then camping is not for you and you shouldn't even try.
Games are fun, never stop playing them...except Monopoly...that game can go straight to hell.
Always listen to the advice of your mom.
Hindsight is usually better than 20/20...it's more like 60/20.
Clothes have an expiry date...if you haven't worn it in over a year, it's expired.
Never find out what goes into a hot dog; it'll only ruin it for you.
When you travel, always try some local cuisine.
Going to a movie alone is not as enjoyable as you might think.
Doing your own maintenance and minor repairs to your car can save you money and be rewarding at the same time.
Don't be the creepy guy.
Did I mention to always listen to the advice of your mom?
Saturday 30 July 2011
Reality Schadenfreude and other Television
A couple weeks ago, I was angry at something, or maybe I was sad at something...I can't remember; what I do remember is thinking "I want to watch someone yell at someone", so I watched a show where I could be guaranteed to see that...Hell's Kitchen. Now the show itself is just ok, but I realized something; Most reality television is designed around fullfilling our deep and dark desire for schadenfreude. For those of you who don't know, schadenfreude [shahd-n-froi-duh] is a word of German origin and it means "satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune". We've all felt it, and reality tv is designed for it. Think about one of the first reality shows in the late 80's/early 90's, COPS, and you'll see that it feels very satisfying to watch someone get dragged away, shirtless of course. Criminals can never seem to find a shirt. Now while delving into various pages on the internet while writing this blog, I came to realize that the reality TV that I'm talking about here, is really only a thin portion of reality TV as a whole. Most of our schadenfreude is relegated to competiton/elimination type shows like Survivor, Big Brother, The Bachelorette or Hell's Kitchen. There's a wider range of shows that fall under reality TV that are quality shows. Here's a few that I've enjoyed: Holmes on Homes, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Mythbusters (yeah, that's reality TV), Crocodile Hunter, Monster Garage, and 30 Days, just to name a few. Notice how none of those shows feed into our sense of Schadenfreude, and most of them aren't making new episodes anymore.
Based on all this, I'm ready to make the following decree's; any reality show where contestants are voted off by the other contestants is now dead to me. Any reality show that let's America decide who wins is also dead to me. Any reality show that is centered around finding love is dead to me twice. I have a hard enough time finding a girlfriend, I don't need to watch some other bachelor have his pick of 10 women fawning all over him...that guy can go straight to hell. Any reality show on the Discovery Channel gets my automatic approval. Thanks to the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, I know everything there is to know about Sharks and Hitler. Any reality show that helps people in a jam (Holmes on Homes, Hoarders, etc.) gets my automatic approval....that should just about do it for my decree's today...I may add more later.
Now you may be wondering, "Jon, if you don't like reality TV that much, what TV do you like?" That's an excellent question reader who I assumed asked that question. I watch quite a bit of TV over the run of a year. Well thanks to the advent of the internet, I can watch TV around my schedule. Here's a list of the shows (in no particular order) I'm watching and who else should be watching it. These are all proven shows in their second season or later. No new shows from this past year are part of the list.
True Blood - For those who like Vampires and hate Twilight.
Leverage - For those who enjoy a heist show...think Ocean's 11 on TV.
Entourage - For those who enjoy good acting and celebrity cameo's.
Warehouse 13 - For those who enjoy geeky treasure hunting with a splash of comedy.
Eureka - For science minded folks who love to see inventions go awry.
White Collar - For those who wanted to see more of Catch Me If You Can.
Rookie Blue - For those who liked Grey's Anatomy and wished it was about Toronto Cops.
Burn Notice - For those who like spy action
Real Time with Bill Maher - For those who like political comedy and active debate
Doctor Who - For those who like time travelling adventures
Torchwood - For those who like X-files and wish it were British and edgier.
Secret Diaries of a Call Girl - For those who enjoy good acting and writing on a touchy subject.
Venture Brothers - For those who like the animated and ridiculous.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - For those who like the live action and ridiculous.
Merlin - For those who like Arthurian legend, but don't mind it getting screwed with a little.
Californication - For those who love sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Justified - For Timothy Olyphant fans.
Ricky Gervais Show - For those who love to laugh at someone else's idiocy.
Archer - For everyone who likes animated antics of a disfunctional spy agency.
Chuck - For those who like nerdy spy action.
Castle - For those who enjoy their mystery with a splash of comedy and a whole lot of Nathan Fillion
Big Ban Theory - For those of us that are smarty pants or approaching genius intellect.
The Amazing Race (Reality) - For those who like travel shows combined with racing.
Fringe - For those who know what psuedo-science is.
Community - For those who like experimentation in TV
The Office - For reality fans who like their reality scripted
How I Met Your Mother - For those who want to watch a blog on TV
Supernatural - For those who are fans of horror movies
House - For those who like Sherlock Holmes but in a hospital.
Glee - For those who like musicals they can sing along with. Remember, it's not just for gays anymore.
Game of Thrones - For those who like low fantasy and politics. With 13 emmy nominations, you need to watch this.
Republic of Doyle - For those who like Newfie's and mystery
Mythbusters - For those who like it when things go boom.
That's all I'm going to list for now. Yes there are other shows I watch, and if you want a recommendation, you'll have to send me an e-mail. Otherwise, Happy Viewing!
Based on all this, I'm ready to make the following decree's; any reality show where contestants are voted off by the other contestants is now dead to me. Any reality show that let's America decide who wins is also dead to me. Any reality show that is centered around finding love is dead to me twice. I have a hard enough time finding a girlfriend, I don't need to watch some other bachelor have his pick of 10 women fawning all over him...that guy can go straight to hell. Any reality show on the Discovery Channel gets my automatic approval. Thanks to the Discovery Channel and the History Channel, I know everything there is to know about Sharks and Hitler. Any reality show that helps people in a jam (Holmes on Homes, Hoarders, etc.) gets my automatic approval....that should just about do it for my decree's today...I may add more later.
Now you may be wondering, "Jon, if you don't like reality TV that much, what TV do you like?" That's an excellent question reader who I assumed asked that question. I watch quite a bit of TV over the run of a year. Well thanks to the advent of the internet, I can watch TV around my schedule. Here's a list of the shows (in no particular order) I'm watching and who else should be watching it. These are all proven shows in their second season or later. No new shows from this past year are part of the list.
True Blood - For those who like Vampires and hate Twilight.
Leverage - For those who enjoy a heist show...think Ocean's 11 on TV.
Entourage - For those who enjoy good acting and celebrity cameo's.
Warehouse 13 - For those who enjoy geeky treasure hunting with a splash of comedy.
Eureka - For science minded folks who love to see inventions go awry.
White Collar - For those who wanted to see more of Catch Me If You Can.
Rookie Blue - For those who liked Grey's Anatomy and wished it was about Toronto Cops.
Burn Notice - For those who like spy action
Real Time with Bill Maher - For those who like political comedy and active debate
Doctor Who - For those who like time travelling adventures
Torchwood - For those who like X-files and wish it were British and edgier.
Secret Diaries of a Call Girl - For those who enjoy good acting and writing on a touchy subject.
Venture Brothers - For those who like the animated and ridiculous.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - For those who like the live action and ridiculous.
Merlin - For those who like Arthurian legend, but don't mind it getting screwed with a little.
Californication - For those who love sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Justified - For Timothy Olyphant fans.
Ricky Gervais Show - For those who love to laugh at someone else's idiocy.
Archer - For everyone who likes animated antics of a disfunctional spy agency.
Chuck - For those who like nerdy spy action.
Castle - For those who enjoy their mystery with a splash of comedy and a whole lot of Nathan Fillion
Big Ban Theory - For those of us that are smarty pants or approaching genius intellect.
The Amazing Race (Reality) - For those who like travel shows combined with racing.
Fringe - For those who know what psuedo-science is.
Community - For those who like experimentation in TV
The Office - For reality fans who like their reality scripted
How I Met Your Mother - For those who want to watch a blog on TV
Supernatural - For those who are fans of horror movies
House - For those who like Sherlock Holmes but in a hospital.
Glee - For those who like musicals they can sing along with. Remember, it's not just for gays anymore.
Game of Thrones - For those who like low fantasy and politics. With 13 emmy nominations, you need to watch this.
Republic of Doyle - For those who like Newfie's and mystery
Mythbusters - For those who like it when things go boom.
That's all I'm going to list for now. Yes there are other shows I watch, and if you want a recommendation, you'll have to send me an e-mail. Otherwise, Happy Viewing!
Wednesday 27 July 2011
Kids and Warren
In my last post, I talked about my relationship with my dad. Being a father myself, that relationship has taught me how not to parent my own child to great success. As of right now, my son is 7 1/2 years old. Here's some rules I've discovered while raising him.
1. Never wake a sleeping child.
2. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD.
3. When your kid is a baby and that baby smashes his head on something (as every baby will do), a little cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
4. When your kid is a baby and that baby is teething, some cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
5. Don't make your kid a drug addict with baby tylenol.
6. Kids see grandparents as one of 2 things, toy dispenser or candy dispenser.
7. Parents see those same people as one of 2 things, a sympathetic ear and free babysitting.
8. The older your child gets, the more you hear your parents words come out of your mouth. Sometimes it's scary, most times it's funny, but probably only to you.
9. The longer you're a parent, the more you appreciate what your own parents went through.
10. Every kid should be taught how to fight and how not to fight. I know this is a hot button topic. Ideally there would be no fighting in school, but it doesn't work like that. The kid that fights the bully is a hero, the kid that tells the teacher is a wuss and a tattletale. I taught my kid to never ever start a fight...but always end it. He hasn't started a fight yet.
11. I give my son freedom to do whatever he wants as long as he says in line...one step out of line and it's punishment time.
12. Never let your child see you smoke or drink.
13. If you're separated/divorced, never argue in front of the child and never say bad things about the other parent.
14. As soon as you can, make your child earn everything.
15. Every kid says no. They're testing your boundaries. Don't give them an inch. It might seem cold hearted, but in the end is far more beneficial for you and them.
16. Don't dress your kid funny. I'm pretty sure my mom did when I was younger, but it was the 80's and everybody was dressed funny.
17. Don't let your kid cut his own hair. I did when I was younger and have the school pictures to prove it.
18. Don't be shy or sparing with affection.
19. Don't be shy or sparing with praise for good work.
20. Enforce reading as a daily activity for at least 1/2 hour per day. It's always the kids who can't read that have a hard time in school.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here. I could write more, but that would make this post waaaay too long.
On another note, RR wanted me to remind everyone that the video for Warren Dean Flandez's new single, "Vinatge Love" is now on youtube. Check it out and tell all your friends...TELL THEM NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHFpNGjBANI
1. Never wake a sleeping child.
2. NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING CHILD.
3. When your kid is a baby and that baby smashes his head on something (as every baby will do), a little cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
4. When your kid is a baby and that baby is teething, some cuddling, gentle rocking, and some baby tylenol go a long way.
5. Don't make your kid a drug addict with baby tylenol.
6. Kids see grandparents as one of 2 things, toy dispenser or candy dispenser.
7. Parents see those same people as one of 2 things, a sympathetic ear and free babysitting.
8. The older your child gets, the more you hear your parents words come out of your mouth. Sometimes it's scary, most times it's funny, but probably only to you.
9. The longer you're a parent, the more you appreciate what your own parents went through.
10. Every kid should be taught how to fight and how not to fight. I know this is a hot button topic. Ideally there would be no fighting in school, but it doesn't work like that. The kid that fights the bully is a hero, the kid that tells the teacher is a wuss and a tattletale. I taught my kid to never ever start a fight...but always end it. He hasn't started a fight yet.
11. I give my son freedom to do whatever he wants as long as he says in line...one step out of line and it's punishment time.
12. Never let your child see you smoke or drink.
13. If you're separated/divorced, never argue in front of the child and never say bad things about the other parent.
14. As soon as you can, make your child earn everything.
15. Every kid says no. They're testing your boundaries. Don't give them an inch. It might seem cold hearted, but in the end is far more beneficial for you and them.
16. Don't dress your kid funny. I'm pretty sure my mom did when I was younger, but it was the 80's and everybody was dressed funny.
17. Don't let your kid cut his own hair. I did when I was younger and have the school pictures to prove it.
18. Don't be shy or sparing with affection.
19. Don't be shy or sparing with praise for good work.
20. Enforce reading as a daily activity for at least 1/2 hour per day. It's always the kids who can't read that have a hard time in school.
Alright, I'm gonna stop here. I could write more, but that would make this post waaaay too long.
On another note, RR wanted me to remind everyone that the video for Warren Dean Flandez's new single, "Vinatge Love" is now on youtube. Check it out and tell all your friends...TELL THEM NOW!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHFpNGjBANI
Sunday 24 July 2011
My Dad
So it's 2:24am and I've had a few to drink, so this should be a perfect time to make a blog post.
Earlier in my blog I talked about how I like my step-dad more than my real dad. Some of you may have found this a bit odd, but let me set the record straight about my history with my dad.
My parents split when I was too young to really remember. As part of the divorce agreement, my mother got full custody as long as my dad didn't have to pay child support; a classy move if ever there was one. My mom didn't keep me from my father though; quite the opposite in fact. He used to phone me, albeit infrequently, and I used to go out to Halifax for a while in the summer. I would stay with my dad, who was living with his mom. He would go off to work every day, so I spent a lot of time with my grandmother, a frail, old woman who I still miss. As I grew older, my mother introduced me to some of the reasons she left my dad, primarily alcoholism. I've had the stigma of being "at risk" for alcoholism all my life, and maybe me posting this while a little drunk doen nothing to deter that notion. Luckily, I've never become like my dad in that regard; but I digress. Undeterred, I decided when I was 12 that I wanted to live with my dad. My mom tried to talk me out of it, but in the end my mind was made up and she supported me. The year that I spent in Halifax was...tumultuous. I didn't have my own room for a while. My dad was surprisingly absent most days and nights. He met a woman and they decided to get married. The "moving into a new place" phase took over 2 months. I was living in the old apartment, my dad in the new one. I quickly learned how to fend for myself, and thanks to my mom, I had those skills. Despite this, I still had a great relationship with my dad. At the end of that year, let's just say that I did a few bad things and he ended up shipping me back to my mom in Vancouver. After that, I got some phone calls from my dad, but I didn't see him again until I graduated High School. I saw him again a couple years later when I was doing some training in Halifax for a month.
A few years later, my son was born...my dad never came out to see him. Now him being an alcoholic, I understand that he doesn't have a lot of money; he spends most of it on booze; I was still hurt though. I've been back out to Halifax a few times over the years, and for a while, it seemed that he was getting his s#it together and might actually come out to visit his grandson. My son was 5 years old and had never met his grandfather and it was purely because he made no effort to communicate with either him, or me. Now I'm in a position to think about how much should my son get to know my dad. How much effort should I put into it? I look back at my life and realize that even though there were a handful of good times, I've lived my life mostly disappointed at my own father. Is that the kind of man I want getting to know my son? Do I want his infuence permeating my life or my son's? So far the answer has been no, but he is family. The last time he called it was New Years Eve 2009 and he was piss drunk. I told him that if he wanted to talk, he should call me back tomorrow when he's sober. I haven't heard from him since. It kind of saddens me that my relationship with my dad has gone straight to the s#itter and that my son will never know his grandfather. I do like the fact that my son will never have to live with my dad disappointing him like he disappointed me. All I have to worry about now is not following in my fathers footsteps.
Now that has been kind of negative. My dad did have some good qualities. He was a pretty damn good cook. He had a boisterous and low brow sense of humour. While my mom taught me wit, my father taught me toilet humour. In person, my dad was as generous as he could afford to be.
In the final examination, despite all he's done and hasn't done, I miss my dad. I wish he was a better person. I wish that my son could get to know his grandfather. I wish he could get off the booze. I wish he had a better life.
Now contrast that with my step-dad. He has always dispensed good advice and has always looked out for my best interests and the best interests of my son. He helps out whenever and whereever he can; this also extends to my friends to which he evidenced last week when JR got a hotel room and he used his sway as a Diamond member to ensure they treated him exceptionally well. He has gone out of his way to drive me to and from the ferry; not a priviledge I abuse at all. I consider it a luxury to get a ride. I know he's given my sister more rides than I can even comprehend. He works damn hard, and frequently away from home, but still makes the time to make my mom happy. He enjoys wine in moderation and is always happy to share a bottle with me. He always acts in an upstanding way and sets a good example for anybody to follow. We haven't always agreed, especially early on, but I've grown up and I've come to respect him and his opinion.
It's now 3:08am...I need sleep.
Earlier in my blog I talked about how I like my step-dad more than my real dad. Some of you may have found this a bit odd, but let me set the record straight about my history with my dad.
My parents split when I was too young to really remember. As part of the divorce agreement, my mother got full custody as long as my dad didn't have to pay child support; a classy move if ever there was one. My mom didn't keep me from my father though; quite the opposite in fact. He used to phone me, albeit infrequently, and I used to go out to Halifax for a while in the summer. I would stay with my dad, who was living with his mom. He would go off to work every day, so I spent a lot of time with my grandmother, a frail, old woman who I still miss. As I grew older, my mother introduced me to some of the reasons she left my dad, primarily alcoholism. I've had the stigma of being "at risk" for alcoholism all my life, and maybe me posting this while a little drunk doen nothing to deter that notion. Luckily, I've never become like my dad in that regard; but I digress. Undeterred, I decided when I was 12 that I wanted to live with my dad. My mom tried to talk me out of it, but in the end my mind was made up and she supported me. The year that I spent in Halifax was...tumultuous. I didn't have my own room for a while. My dad was surprisingly absent most days and nights. He met a woman and they decided to get married. The "moving into a new place" phase took over 2 months. I was living in the old apartment, my dad in the new one. I quickly learned how to fend for myself, and thanks to my mom, I had those skills. Despite this, I still had a great relationship with my dad. At the end of that year, let's just say that I did a few bad things and he ended up shipping me back to my mom in Vancouver. After that, I got some phone calls from my dad, but I didn't see him again until I graduated High School. I saw him again a couple years later when I was doing some training in Halifax for a month.
A few years later, my son was born...my dad never came out to see him. Now him being an alcoholic, I understand that he doesn't have a lot of money; he spends most of it on booze; I was still hurt though. I've been back out to Halifax a few times over the years, and for a while, it seemed that he was getting his s#it together and might actually come out to visit his grandson. My son was 5 years old and had never met his grandfather and it was purely because he made no effort to communicate with either him, or me. Now I'm in a position to think about how much should my son get to know my dad. How much effort should I put into it? I look back at my life and realize that even though there were a handful of good times, I've lived my life mostly disappointed at my own father. Is that the kind of man I want getting to know my son? Do I want his infuence permeating my life or my son's? So far the answer has been no, but he is family. The last time he called it was New Years Eve 2009 and he was piss drunk. I told him that if he wanted to talk, he should call me back tomorrow when he's sober. I haven't heard from him since. It kind of saddens me that my relationship with my dad has gone straight to the s#itter and that my son will never know his grandfather. I do like the fact that my son will never have to live with my dad disappointing him like he disappointed me. All I have to worry about now is not following in my fathers footsteps.
Now that has been kind of negative. My dad did have some good qualities. He was a pretty damn good cook. He had a boisterous and low brow sense of humour. While my mom taught me wit, my father taught me toilet humour. In person, my dad was as generous as he could afford to be.
In the final examination, despite all he's done and hasn't done, I miss my dad. I wish he was a better person. I wish that my son could get to know his grandfather. I wish he could get off the booze. I wish he had a better life.
Now contrast that with my step-dad. He has always dispensed good advice and has always looked out for my best interests and the best interests of my son. He helps out whenever and whereever he can; this also extends to my friends to which he evidenced last week when JR got a hotel room and he used his sway as a Diamond member to ensure they treated him exceptionally well. He has gone out of his way to drive me to and from the ferry; not a priviledge I abuse at all. I consider it a luxury to get a ride. I know he's given my sister more rides than I can even comprehend. He works damn hard, and frequently away from home, but still makes the time to make my mom happy. He enjoys wine in moderation and is always happy to share a bottle with me. He always acts in an upstanding way and sets a good example for anybody to follow. We haven't always agreed, especially early on, but I've grown up and I've come to respect him and his opinion.
It's now 3:08am...I need sleep.
Friday 22 July 2011
The Interview
I had a job interview today. It was not my first job interview, and it probably won't be my last. I nailed the interview. When I got home, I called my mom (who had left a message for me to call her back) and I told her that I nailed it. She asked, "How do you know you nailed it?" and I thought about it...how do I know I nailed it. I answered every question clearly with specific examples. They seemed engaged. I asked good questions at the end. I felt good after the interview, but if one doesn't get the job, you might never know if you did well or not. I might have done great, but the next guy might have done even better. They just might not have thought I was pretty enough. They might be hiring internally and just taking a few outside interviews to say, "See, we interviewed outside people." Most of these things people don't have much control over and that can be frustrating. There's nothing worse than the non-specific rejection; things like "We don't think this is a match."...what, am I on the dating game? It's just a job; I'm not trying to get into your pants. Either way, there are some Do's and Do Not's that I have found after interviewing and being interviewed dozens of times.
1. Do dress nicely. Men, wear a suit. Ladies, wear something nice. 90% of the time, I rejected people based on how they presented themselves. You won't believe how many people have showed up in a t-shirt and sweatpants. If you don't have a suit, wear the best you have. The effort is noted.
2. Do Not say that you're going to steal things from them. Yes it happend. No, I didn't hire him.
3. Do Not use racial slurs. Unless you're interviewing for the KKK.
4. Do brush your teeth. Nothing worse than bad breath in an interview.
5. Do Not fart in the interview.
6. Do have a firm handshake, but not one that will crush someone.
7. Do Not curse during the interview.
8. Do make them laugh. It shows you have a good attitude and that's 80% what I look for.
9. Do Not hit on your interviewer. It may sound fun and complimentary, but in actual fact it's creepy as s#it.
10. Do thank them for their time at the end. It shows you're a professional.
11. Do Not let too much dead air linger. If there's an awkward silence after you give an answer, they're probably looking for more.
12. Do ask to clarify any question you don't fully understand. The interviewer is almost never annoyed by this.
13. Do not arrive late and/or unprepared. You should be there 10 min. early with a few copies of your resume and references with you.
14. Do speak with confidence and admit when you don't know something.
I did all the Do`s and none of the Do Not`s today...I think that deserves a reward.
1. Do dress nicely. Men, wear a suit. Ladies, wear something nice. 90% of the time, I rejected people based on how they presented themselves. You won't believe how many people have showed up in a t-shirt and sweatpants. If you don't have a suit, wear the best you have. The effort is noted.
2. Do Not say that you're going to steal things from them. Yes it happend. No, I didn't hire him.
3. Do Not use racial slurs. Unless you're interviewing for the KKK.
4. Do brush your teeth. Nothing worse than bad breath in an interview.
5. Do Not fart in the interview.
6. Do have a firm handshake, but not one that will crush someone.
7. Do Not curse during the interview.
8. Do make them laugh. It shows you have a good attitude and that's 80% what I look for.
9. Do Not hit on your interviewer. It may sound fun and complimentary, but in actual fact it's creepy as s#it.
10. Do thank them for their time at the end. It shows you're a professional.
11. Do Not let too much dead air linger. If there's an awkward silence after you give an answer, they're probably looking for more.
12. Do ask to clarify any question you don't fully understand. The interviewer is almost never annoyed by this.
13. Do not arrive late and/or unprepared. You should be there 10 min. early with a few copies of your resume and references with you.
14. Do speak with confidence and admit when you don't know something.
I did all the Do`s and none of the Do Not`s today...I think that deserves a reward.
Thursday 21 July 2011
The Death of Surprise
So this weekend will see the premiere of Captain America: The First Avenger and it got me to thinking about how much I already know about this movie. I know pretty much the whole plot. I've seen quite a few clips online (and I don't just mean the trailers). I know the entire cast and who has cameo's, and what those cameo's are. I even know what the scene is going to be after the credits. I have way too much knowledge about this movie. Even if I had tried to stay away from it, there's still all kinds of things that would have caught my eye, like headlines of articles or the like. I think I just miss the suprise and mystique of the way movies used to be. Remember when all you knew about a movie was from a small trailer and a voiceover from that movie trailer voiceover guy? Maybe you read a review of the movie the day before it came out and that's about all you know? It kinda sucks that a movie can't be shrouded in mystery anymore. Remember the first trailers for Independance Day? All you saw was the White House blowing up and that was it...you really wanted to know WTF was going on; I know I did. Can we ever get back to that? Can a movie remain a secret again? Can I ever resist the temptation to find out everything about a movie I really want to see before it comes out? Probably not, but for some movies, I'll sure give it my best.
Tuesday 19 July 2011
Unemployment Depression
It's July 19th and I've been unemployed for the longest stretch of time since I started working for the Micheal J. Fox theatre back when I was in high school. It's starting to wear at me and the constant rejection from job after job can really take a toll on one's sense of self worth. It fosters a feeling of lethargy, helplessness, and yes, a bit of depression. Fortunately I have friends and family that are looking out for me and making a tough time quite a bit easier than it is for most people. Just this past weekend, JR and I were ordering food from a cart vendor on Granville and right beside us was a guy about my age, rooting through the trash looking for food. I looked at him and thought, "The only difference between this guy and me is the friend I have standing right beside me." I'm keeping a physical and mental list of everything everyone has done for me over the last few months, and when I get back on my feet (and rest assured that I will), these people will be thanked appropriately; and I don't just mean a hearty appreciation at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
On a lighter note, my son finally got a haircut. Now he looks like a little boy again instead of a long haired hippie.
On a lighter note, my son finally got a haircut. Now he looks like a little boy again instead of a long haired hippie.
A Few Words of Advice over Pancakes
First things first, I want to give a shout out to NF. He's a friend of mine that I used to sail with when I was in the Navy and is still a good friend today. He's the reason that everything East of Ottawa is dead to me instead of everything East of Edmonton. being dead to me. He's the only person I know that knows how to play, and can give me competition for, Backgammon. He sent me a message complimenting me on my newly made blog, so he gets a shout out.
Now onto other things.
I was in Vancouver this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, my mom, step-dad, and RR all live in Vancouver. This weekend though, JR's ship was in North Vancouver, so I had the added benefit of hanging out with him this weekend. It was a pretty busy weekend, filled mostly with fun. On Monday I headed back to Victoria, but first, I went to North Vancouver to visit SS. She was feeling terrible because some guy had taken advantage of her and her kindness and then treated her like s#it. I was a good listener, and I can sympathize with her, and it made me somewhat angry that anybody treated anybody like that, let alone someone I care about. The worst part is, this is not the first time I've heard a story like this from a woman, and I'm sad to say that it won't be the last, so ladies, here's some advice.
1. If anything raises a red flag for you (he has never had a relationship over 3 months, he collects Barbie dolls, he has a restraining order against him), run...don't walk, run.
2. If he has a mullet...run.
3. If he mentions his ex too much...walk away.
4. If he doesn't call or talk to you for days, consider it over. (there are exception to this rule for some very select people, like guy in Afghanistan or out to sea)
5. If he leads every conversation with a sexual subject, he doesn't care about you and just wants sex...also he's not very classy.
6. If he farts in front of you, he's comfortable with you...this is a good thing.
I find it only fair to dispense some advice for the men too.
1. If you're in an argument and it's about something small and petty, let it go. In the end, it's not worth it.
2. If you're in an argument and it's about something important, stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. The least attractive quality to a woman is cowardice and not standing up for your principles.
3. Women can be very forgiving; just don't screw up the same way twice.
4. Don't feel bad for doing something without your woman if she's not interested, but always invite her; it's common courtesy.
5. If she has more than 3 cats...run...run fast and run far.
6. Call her, text her, e-mail her, facebook message her, IM her...do what you have to, but communicate with her on a regular basis. Just don't start everything with something sexual...it's not classy at all.
Now onto other things.
I was in Vancouver this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, my mom, step-dad, and RR all live in Vancouver. This weekend though, JR's ship was in North Vancouver, so I had the added benefit of hanging out with him this weekend. It was a pretty busy weekend, filled mostly with fun. On Monday I headed back to Victoria, but first, I went to North Vancouver to visit SS. She was feeling terrible because some guy had taken advantage of her and her kindness and then treated her like s#it. I was a good listener, and I can sympathize with her, and it made me somewhat angry that anybody treated anybody like that, let alone someone I care about. The worst part is, this is not the first time I've heard a story like this from a woman, and I'm sad to say that it won't be the last, so ladies, here's some advice.
1. If anything raises a red flag for you (he has never had a relationship over 3 months, he collects Barbie dolls, he has a restraining order against him), run...don't walk, run.
2. If he has a mullet...run.
3. If he mentions his ex too much...walk away.
4. If he doesn't call or talk to you for days, consider it over. (there are exception to this rule for some very select people, like guy in Afghanistan or out to sea)
5. If he leads every conversation with a sexual subject, he doesn't care about you and just wants sex...also he's not very classy.
6. If he farts in front of you, he's comfortable with you...this is a good thing.
I find it only fair to dispense some advice for the men too.
1. If you're in an argument and it's about something small and petty, let it go. In the end, it's not worth it.
2. If you're in an argument and it's about something important, stand your ground and stand up for what you believe in. The least attractive quality to a woman is cowardice and not standing up for your principles.
3. Women can be very forgiving; just don't screw up the same way twice.
4. Don't feel bad for doing something without your woman if she's not interested, but always invite her; it's common courtesy.
5. If she has more than 3 cats...run...run fast and run far.
6. Call her, text her, e-mail her, facebook message her, IM her...do what you have to, but communicate with her on a regular basis. Just don't start everything with something sexual...it's not classy at all.
Saturday 16 July 2011
My Mom
I arrived in Vancouver today. My mom immediately mentioned how she hasn't been mentioned in my blog, so this one is a post for her. Here's some things about my mom that I know:
My mom is smart and she has no problem mentioning it to me over and over again.
My mom is short. Almost midget short, but not quite.
My mom, like most people her age, claims to know all about how to use a computer, but can't figure out how to download a TV show.
My mom is the reason I finished high school.
My mom has excellent taste in friends and mediocre taste in television.
My mom is super funny when she's had 1 glass of wine, a riot on 2 glasses, and passed out on 3.
My mom is a Chevy girl. I don't know if that's weird, but there it is.
My mom taught me just about everything I need to know, including how to be a smarty pants.
My mom made a promise to take me to Vegas when I was 21...it only took her 10 years after I was 21 for her to fulfill that promise, but she did fulfill it.
My mom once closed a car door on my hand. 2 of my fingers have permanent indentations from this incident.
My mom once fell off a bathroom counter, hitting a towel bar on the way down and severely bruising her butt. She insisted on showing me the bruise...I am still traumatized.
My mom has excellent taste in house decoration...this is not a skill she passed on to me.
My mom taught me how to not rely on other people for cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
There's a lot more to my mom than what I have here, but I can't have her ego getting bigger than mine.
My mom is smart and she has no problem mentioning it to me over and over again.
My mom is short. Almost midget short, but not quite.
My mom, like most people her age, claims to know all about how to use a computer, but can't figure out how to download a TV show.
My mom is the reason I finished high school.
My mom has excellent taste in friends and mediocre taste in television.
My mom is super funny when she's had 1 glass of wine, a riot on 2 glasses, and passed out on 3.
My mom is a Chevy girl. I don't know if that's weird, but there it is.
My mom taught me just about everything I need to know, including how to be a smarty pants.
My mom made a promise to take me to Vegas when I was 21...it only took her 10 years after I was 21 for her to fulfill that promise, but she did fulfill it.
My mom once closed a car door on my hand. 2 of my fingers have permanent indentations from this incident.
My mom once fell off a bathroom counter, hitting a towel bar on the way down and severely bruising her butt. She insisted on showing me the bruise...I am still traumatized.
My mom has excellent taste in house decoration...this is not a skill she passed on to me.
My mom taught me how to not rely on other people for cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
There's a lot more to my mom than what I have here, but I can't have her ego getting bigger than mine.
Thoughts of a 3am drunk
It's almost 3am. I went to see the last Harry Potter movie with a good friend of mine. Afterward, I returned home, had a few drinks, which led to a few more drinks, which led to me thinking that it would be a good idea to start writing down some thoughts; so for good or ill, here's what I think:
I think the last time I was truly happy in a romantic relationship was 2006. It has recently come to my attention that the relationship I had with that person will never happen again.
I think there's part of me that feels empty because of this.
I think JR and RR are my best friends for a reason. A recent "tiff" with RR only served to solidify that in my mind, while JR's actions over the last couple months may qualify him for sainthood.
I think I owe my friends more than can be counted in dollars.
I think that nobody, not even myself, will ever understand why I can't stand to drink any hot beverages.
I think everything East of Ottawa is dead to me now.
I think that I like my step-dad more than my own dad.
I think I'm proud of my sister, but find it odd that she won't have pepper in the house.
I think that I have excellent opinions on television, despite the fact that my favorite shows keep getting cancelled and "trash" tv just keeps on going.
I think I'm afraid, but I'm not entirely sure of what.
I think back on the happiest times of my life and most of them involve being in a car on an open stretch of highway with either RR or JR in the passenger seat. (that's "most" of them, mom, not all)
I think that this blog post is over.
I think the last time I was truly happy in a romantic relationship was 2006. It has recently come to my attention that the relationship I had with that person will never happen again.
I think there's part of me that feels empty because of this.
I think JR and RR are my best friends for a reason. A recent "tiff" with RR only served to solidify that in my mind, while JR's actions over the last couple months may qualify him for sainthood.
I think I owe my friends more than can be counted in dollars.
I think that nobody, not even myself, will ever understand why I can't stand to drink any hot beverages.
I think everything East of Ottawa is dead to me now.
I think that I like my step-dad more than my own dad.
I think I'm proud of my sister, but find it odd that she won't have pepper in the house.
I think that I have excellent opinions on television, despite the fact that my favorite shows keep getting cancelled and "trash" tv just keeps on going.
I think I'm afraid, but I'm not entirely sure of what.
I think back on the happiest times of my life and most of them involve being in a car on an open stretch of highway with either RR or JR in the passenger seat. (that's "most" of them, mom, not all)
I think that this blog post is over.
Friday 15 July 2011
Introductions
Welcome to my blog. As it's my first time here, I thought some introductions were in order.
Let's start with the facts:
I'm Jonathan...Jon for short.
I'm 31 years old.
I was born in Halifax, NS.
I live in Victoria, BC.
I'm a single dad.
I will refer to anybody other than myself by using their initials.
JR and RR are my best friends.
I'm not a writer; I'm just an average guy trying to get by.
Any other personal history will be revealed as we go.
Let's start with the facts:
I'm Jonathan...Jon for short.
I'm 31 years old.
I was born in Halifax, NS.
I live in Victoria, BC.
I'm a single dad.
I will refer to anybody other than myself by using their initials.
JR and RR are my best friends.
I'm not a writer; I'm just an average guy trying to get by.
Any other personal history will be revealed as we go.
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